Desired (Club Sin 3)

Presley’s brows pinched together, and her voice softened. “Because he won’t do that with you?”

“Exactly,” Ella replied.

“He’s just worried about you,” Cora said, her long hair trailing over her shoulder. “It speaks to the depth of his feelings for you that he’s been so gentle. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him that way with anyone.”

Of course, hearing that made Ella feel good. All the same, it was exactly what she didn’t want. Now with the floodgates open, and without the worry of being judged, she spoke the truth. “I want him to get over it—to stop treating me like I’m a victim.”

Kenzie’s eyes widened over the rim of her wineglass. “You want him to get over the fact that you’ve been abused?” At Ella’s nod, she added with a grimace, “That would make him a shitty Dom. And Club Sin isn’t about that. The Masters pride themselves on caring for the submissives.”

Coming from the woman who purposely annoys the Masters. Maybe Kenzie needed to take her own advice, but who was Ella to tell her that? She sighed and then admitted, “I understand that, I do. But at some point, he needs to stop treating me like I’m fragile.”

“Are you fragile?” Cora asked.

“No,” Ella replied without pause.

Cora shook her head, her mouth pressing into a firm line. “You answered me way too fast, which is probably why he’s refusing to take you deep into a scene.” She picked up her wineglass. “You cannot have gone through what you did without having scars.”

“I do have a scar.” The reminder would never leave her, and she ran her finger over the side of her face, feeling the rough skin. “But I want to move on. Hell, I have moved on. It was ten freaking months ago.”

Presley gathered Ella’s hand in hers. “You’re asking Kyler to do the unthinkable when it comes to Dom behavior. He needs to make sure you’re okay first. And of course he’s going to be hesitant in regard to using force.”

“Yes, I get that,” Ella grumbled, scanning the women’s faces. “But how do I make him okay with it all?”

Cora finally said, “You need to be okay with it yourself.”

“I am.”

“Are you?” Cora retorted.

Ella stared at her, feeling the world narrow. She didn’t know what Cora did for a living, but she had suspicions. Cora was too drawn in. Asking too many personal questions. Too focused. “Are you a therapist?”

“Is it that obvious?” Cora laughed. “I’m actually a social worker for teens. But I’ve dealt with teen abuse situations. It’s not something you can simply forget.”

Ella took a big gulp of the dry red wine, wishing they’d be more on her side. She wanted to find a way back from this hell, not continue to live stuck in the past. With all eyes focused on her, she lowered her glass. “I know I can’t ignore the abuse. But why on earth is it so important to sit and talk about it all the time? What he needs to know is that I’ve accepted it and moved on with my life. I mean, it was nearly a year ago. Isn’t it time for everyone to let it go?”

Presley smiled gently and pointed to her heart. “He needs to know you’re okay in here.”

Cora added, “And while the abuse happened nearly a year ago, Rory was just here, right in your face. Kyler needs to know that what he’s doing is helping, not hurting.”

Kenzie said, “Yep. And it’s what you’re doing right now that’s stopping him. Sure, you know Rory was a dick. Sure, you kicked him out of your life. Which makes you awesome and strong, Ella. But you downplay the effect it had on you.”

Ella swallowed, regretting that she’d started this conversation. First, she wasn’t nearly drunk enough. Second, she figured they would side with her, not dig up emotions that she didn’t want to face.

Cora rose from her seat and came to sit on the coffee table in front of Ella. She placed a hand on Ella’s thigh. “Let me ask this: When you first saw the stitches on your face, what did you think?”

Staring into Cora’s eyes and trusting her intentions, Ella drew herself back to that time in the hospital. When she went into the bathroom and looked at what Rory had done to her. Her throat tightened. “I felt heartbroken.”

Cora’s gaze softened, as did her voice. “Have you ever told Kyler that?”

She looked from to Cora to Kenzie to Presley, feeling a weight in her chest lift—one she hadn’t known had been there. No one here would judge her. They all weren’t looking to her with pity, but with love.

Maybe she hadn’t shared what she felt then, because no one cared to listen. No one actually asked that question—and within that knowledge, a cold part of her soul warmed. “I guess I haven’t been sharing that with him.” She realized, in this moment, how long it’d been since someone had asked her how she felt. There was no telling her how she should feel, or telling her she needed to get over something, they all simply cared what she went through.

Love …

Kenzie gave a firm nod, tipping her wineglass at Ella. “Want a red ass, then start sharing, sweet cheeks!”

Cora chuckled at Kenzie, then added more softly to Ella, “Doms need vulnerability. It’s what makes them a Dom. Just as you crave to experience a deeper level in a scene, he craves your heart. How can Kyler be the Dom you want him to be if you’re not emotionally vulnerable to him? If you won’t allow him to get close?”