She didn’t care. She overpowered him. She controlled this moment.
Moving even faster now, she rubbed herself against him, allowing her breasts to give him a show, but even that didn’t draw his attention. His fingers tightened on her thighs, the only telling sign that what she was doing was affecting him. That darkness in his eyes didn’t even show pleasure, it reflected restraint. She slid her fingers over the lines of his chest to his strong shoulders, right down to his six-pack, and then she moved her hands onto his chest, loving the feel of his ripped muscles.
The musky scent of their lovemaking rushed through her nostrils as her muscles tightened, beginning to shake in the building of her release. She shifted, harder, faster, needing just a bit more. His cock grew harder, bigger inside her, as if he’d done the move purposefully, knowing it was all she needed to soar over the edge.
Then she was flying.
Her head fell forward and she lost all sight of him, tumbling into wave after wave of pure blissful pleasure. She quaked and bucked with each blast of euphoria, shivering and shuddering with the full effects of her release.
When she became silent and the rush of pleasure eased, she felt his cock was still hard inside her. Confused, she lifted her head and noted again the tight clenching to his jaw. He remained silent as he wrapped his arms around her. He lifted her off him, then placed her right back into the same position she was in before. That action telling her more than words possibly could have. He might have allowed her to dominate his body for those moments, but she realized now he could’ve stolen that control away as easily as she breathed.
Bewildering tears welled in her eyes as he kissed the back of her neck, still not saying a word. Somehow this silence made the bed drop from under her. For what she thought would make her feel better now made her only feel worse. She went to shift out of his hold, but Porter locked his arms. “Nah, kitten, stay right where you are.”
Chapter Fourteen
When Kenzie woke again the sun was beaming through the window. She lay against her pillow, recalling the sex from last night. Porter had allowed her to dominate him, and she couldn’t figure out why. His actions were so unexpected that she was left reeling in confusion.
She thought she’d wake up feeling refreshed and blazing with power, yet now she sensed the unease and insecurity of not knowing what she wanted to do. As she stared at the sun shining through her window, tightness formed in her throat. The awareness that she controlled nothing left her pinned to the bed. She didn’t like that she’d used Porter for her selfish needs last night. In fact, she realized this person she was being wasn’t her, or at least not anymore, not with Porter. She played games with Doms to get what she needed from them, but she began to realize things had changed.
A clang coming from her kitchen startled her, and Kenzie discovered that Porter wasn’t in the bed. Curious now, she pushed off the covers, put on her nightgown, and followed the aroma of coffee into the kitchen. When she entered her small kitchen just off the living room, she found Porter standing at the stove wearing only his blue jeans. The view belonged on a magazine cover, though along with the flare of arousal she suffered, she fought against the conflict spiraling inside her.
She leaned against the door frame, knowing that last night had nothing to do with Club Sin. It’d all been her desire to have him. Her heart reaching for his. Her need to take him in the manner she had wanted to—an intimate manner that had nothing to do with kink—but when had Kenzie simply wanted a man, not the sexual acts he could deliver?
“I’m confused,” she heard herself saying.
Porter raised a brow. “It’s bacon and eggs.”
She shook her head, not even sure what to say now. All she could do was stand there, so perplexed by what she felt around him. How dangerous a thing that was. For her to say I’m beginning to care for you without truly knowing if Porter felt the same way. Of course, it seemed like he cared, but the Dominant/submissive relationship ran deep and those feelings she was experiencing could be misunderstood in his care.
No D/s relationship had ever been so baffling. Kenzie had always known where she stood with her Doms. She liked that they were more often annoyed than attached, but Porter was giving her no other option than to fall into him. He had been fighting for her heart, and Kenzie knew right then and there he was claiming it.
Porter turned off the stove, placing the spatula down on the countertop. He moved to her with a calculated slowness. Kenzie’s breath became shallow, her body simmering in the presence of her Dom. Using the same gentle movements, he cupped her cheek. “Last night confuses you?”
“Yes.”
“What about it?”
“You allowed me to dominate you?” No Dom had ever given her that right. She thought she’d feel good about it, but she didn’t. She was more spun around than ever. Why couldn’t Porter be the same as everyone else and treat her no differently? Why did he fight for a spot in her heart that she wasn’t sure anyone should ever hold?
“You’re right,” he stated, brushing a thumb over her cheek. “I did allow you to dominate me.”
“Why?”
He tugged her into him. “You have a lot going on right now. You needed to feel some control, so I let you feel that.” His head tilted, as he watched her intently. “Let me guess. You feel pretty shitty about what happened?”
“It doesn’t…feel good,” she whispered, without even thinking. She’d always known she was submissive; she liked that role. For her, there was something beautiful about giving up control to a man and letting him free her mind for a little while. Dominating him hadn’t freed her mind, it overactivated it. “I’m…not sure about any of this.”
His hard eyes pierced her, burning a hole right down into the very depths of her soul. “I’m more to you than a quick fuck and a way to get yourself off, hmm?”
“Perhaps.” She couldn’t lie. Not now. Not when his powerful eyes declared he’d be right there to hold her. Quite possibly, she was simply so damn tired of lying to herself. She needed answers. And she couldn’t wait around for them any longer.
“I’m glad you realize that, kitten.” He leaned forward, placing a sweet kiss upon her lips. “As I have known that from the moment I touched you.” Leaning away, he kept his hand on her face. “Now we can move on from that, yes? Stop fighting me and just appreciate what this is between us.”
Awareness drifted across her. “Were you trying to teach me a lesson last night?”
“Nope.” He moved to the stove, putting some obviously needed distance between them, since that statement tightened her fists.
Had he known exactly what he was doing and known exactly how she would respond?