Lucky? “Please enlighten me,” he grumbled, glancing to her glowing cheeks. “How does any of that make you lucky?”
She reached out to stroke his forearm, and a soft expression crossed her face. “I see what no one else does.”
How to take that? The thought that she knew him so well warmed him. He wanted her to know and trust him. However, the weakness that her statements portrayed shattered him. He both loved and hated the words that came from her mouth. “You don’t think I see you?”
She dropped her hand, as if his flesh burned her. “No, you don’t.”
Sweat beaded along his flesh, like frost over grass. The world spun, seeming to slow down. “Cora …”
“Don’t be offended.” She gave a sad smile. “I’m paid to look deep into people and read what they’re saying without really saying it.”
Fuck that. As a Dom, it was his job to read into a submissive. “Believe me, none of this is okay.” The situation was far worse than he’d imagined.
Cora groaned and said, “Great, I’ve ruined the mood. Please forget about it.” She leaned away with a stiff posture and a sullen expression. “Tell me, how often do you go camping?”
With fuzzy thoughts, he thinned his lips. “What don’t I know about you?”
She rolled her eyes and avoided his gaze, glancing to the fire. “See, you shouldn’t have let me ramble. It never ends well. About the camping—”
Part of him wanted to run, not interested to know the answer. The other part of him held, determined to break down the barrier. “You cannot say something like that and change the subject.” He searched internally, desperate to find meaning in her admission. Christ, he thought he was closer to her than any woman. How did she not know that? “Does Porter see you?”
She continued to stare at the fire with an unnatural stillness. When she spoke, her voice was strained. “Yeah, he does—he always did.”
Chapter Sixteen
Hours flew by like minutes, and the conversation hadn’t dulled. In fact, considering how strained things had been at the beginning, Cora could’ve listened to Aidan talk about his childhood to college to his job all night.
At some point, the clouds settled in, darkening the sky. She stared at the fire burning brightly, sending orange flicks into the air. As a comfortable silence fell between them, Cora turned to the small beige-colored tent. Her heart fluttered and her palms grew sweaty. Really, a tent shouldn’t make anyone so nervous, but there was more to that tent that troubled her.
One tent. One giant sleeping bag for two. Daunting.
Cora’s heart tripped at the idea of sleeping next to Aidan. She felt as if she was sixteen years old and at the summer camp, the place she experienced her first kiss with a boy. She hadn’t slept in the same bed with a man since Porter; dungeon play didn’t involve sleepovers.
Is this really happening …
It seemed both exciting and incredibly dangerous for her.
“Was Porter your only boyfriend?”
She gulped, turning to Aidan. “My first Dom boyfriend, not my first boyfriend.”
“Tell me about the others.” Aidan smiled.
His shadowy gaze made her hyperaware of his every move. The warmth in the depths of his eyes lightened her chest. You look good when you’re not lost within yourself. But she couldn’t allow herself to get too hopeful—she’d been let down too many times.
Whatever his intent tonight, she had to keep believing his actions came from being her Dom and wanting to help her, not to get to know her better. And certainly not to let their love grow. She couldn’t handle being wrong again. “Just young-love type stuff, boyfriends through high school and college. Nothing too serious.”
He hesitated, regarding her with a tilt to his head. “When did you discover you were submissive?”
“It was a fluke.” The fire crackled, drawing Cora’s attention to the hot embers. “For an assignment in college, we needed to analyze a person and explain reasons for their actions.”
“You researched a submissive?”
His soft voice filled with interest, and a tone she’d never heard before kept her attention on the fire. “Nope, a sexual sadist.” She scrunched her nose. “In fact, he was a serial killer.”
“Please tell me how researching that led you to living the lifestyle.”
She glanced to him with a smile. “I know how morbid it sounds. A person researching that should run away, not willingly enter into it.”