He nodded and looked forward into the fire, and she studied Aidan as he stared at the flames, his dark hair falling over his brow. She clenched her hands against the sudden urge to trace her fingers over such perfection. The tingle of her lips to press them against his was not appropriate right now. “How about you? Did you always know you liked kink and sexual domination?”
Nodding, he leaned back on his hands. “Always knew I liked kink. After my first taste of bondage, I discovered I needed more than vanilla sex to find fulfillment.”
Cora’s mouth went dry at the images of an inexperienced Aidan. All the same, picturing Aidan as a newbie Dom was near impossible. She pushed past the burn in her loins. “Then what happened?”
“I heard whispers of Chains in college.” With a slow arch to his mouth, he added in a low voice, “Once I went there, I never looked back.”
I’m damn glad! “Did you have a mentor?”
He shook his head. “Not a mentor necessarily, but I learned from watching and practicing. Much like you did. In those early years, I attended a lot of play parties, which tended to be where I learned the most.” He winked with a mischievous smile. “And I had patient submissives who let me make mistakes and learn from them.”
To hear him talk so openly about his past experiences tightened her chest. This conversation should’ve happened a long time ago. “Yes, but how did you learn to dominate a submissive?”
His brows drew together in concentration before he said, “I think anyone can grow as a Dominant, but I also believe it’s a born trait, as it is with submissiveness. I’m good at it, because it’s naturally who I am.” He exhaled slowly, bending his legs and resting his arms on his knees. “If it wasn’t, I think it would look forced.”
“Yeah, I agree.” In fact, she believed all the Club Sin Masters were naturally dominant men. Most had important jobs in which they needed to be controlling. It wasn’t much of a surprise that they’d seek that same type of control in their sex lives, too.
Whatever Aidan’s reasons for the shift in his demeanor, she wouldn’t miss the chance to learn more about him. “So, you asked me; now it’s your turn—how many girlfriends have you had?”
He turned to the fire with a clenched jaw. “I’ve had a few vanilla relationships, but only one D/s relationship.”
Lily.
A woman Cora had never met, but one she’d thought of often, especially considering she knew that Lily’s death had destroyed Aidan. Club Sin Master Kyler had told her about the car accident when Cora asked him why Aidan seemed so sad. The man she’d met when she first joined Club Sin wasn’t the happier man sitting with her now. From what she heard from Kyler, Aidan was even more depressed in the year he played without Lily in Chains. Cora didn’t know how he stayed there that long. Facing the club without her must’ve been horrible.
When Cora had met Aidan, he’d been broken, a shell of a once-strong man that had no life in his eyes. In the first two months he had trained her, she’d never seen him smile. While Cora recognized that pain remained, she’d also witnessed him experience the stages of grief. He hadn’t completely moved on, but he’d improved.
They were just friends when they first started to play and she’d helped him through a dark time in his life. She always felt that he saw that and appreciated her for it. She stared at him for an overlong moment before she looked away to the dark forest beside her.
Cora shut her eyes, listening to the thundering of her heart. She’d never felt right bringing up his past, since he’d never really given her the opportunity. With a tight voice, she turned to him and managed, “Do you miss Lily?”
Aidan heaved a sigh filled with longing. “I do miss her, incredibly so.”
Cora’s eyelids became gummy at his tearful voice. She immediately wished she could take her question back. Why remind him of such a painful time? And why hurt herself in the process, hearing him talk about another woman? “I’m sorry you lost her, Aidan.”
&nbs
p; “It’s all right.” His arms hung slack at his sides; his expression slack. “Life doesn’t always work out how we plan.”
With an ache in her stomach, she couldn’t deny that statement. She’d learned that hard lesson, too. If it did, Cora would have what Lily had—this unguarded Aidan. “That’s true—it doesn’t.”
Staring into his shielded gaze, her shoulders slumped as she realized the distance she’d placed between them. A comfortable place for him she imagined that helped him ignore his pain. With nothing less than feeling a desire to flee, she stretched her arms. “All this fresh air has me beat. I’m calling it a night.” She avoided his gaze as she pushed off the blanket, and every step she took toward the tent weighed her down.
“No, Cora.”
She froze and shut her eyes, as she battled the fuzziness of her mind. Regardless, her head was murky, his low murmur sent heat roaring within. This was dangerous for her to play with him tonight. She felt too attached. This was too personal. Yet his voice, layered with rich sexual promise, dropped her into his command.
Her breath hitched and loins burned as he added, “Stay right where you are.”
Chapter Seventeen
I need to touch you.
I have to feel your warmth.
I want you close.
Aidan stared at Cora, who was stiff as a board. “Take off your clothes.” He regarded the trembling of her hands as she removed each item of clothing, one by one. She shivered at the cool air in the mountains, which was still unseasonably warmer than in summers past.