Not wanting to answer, he rose and grabbed a facecloth off the shelves next to the pedestal sink with the vintage mirror above. When he returned to her, he dipped the facecloth in the water then began cleaning the makeup off her face. “Now.”
She visibly swallowed and gave a slow, disbelieving shake of her head. “So, this is all the time we’ve got?”
His chest constricted at the truth in front of him. When could he come back? At what point would it be safe? How could they manage all this and Mason? He and Clara were better, but they needed more time. “I’m sorry, Clara, hurting you and Mason, and leaving you like this, wasn’t what I wanted at all.”
“I know,” she said, rising, bathwater splashing as she climbed onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her warm, sudsy flesh. She smelled of lavender as she met his lips with a kiss that made his mind go utterly blank. Until she whispered against his lips, “Once more, Sullivan. Please, I need you once more before you leave.”
He heard it in her voice then. She believed he was leaving her again. For good. Unsure how to make all this right, and feeling desperation to keep her close and safe, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, and sealed his mouth across hers. He kissed her feverishly, until they were both breathless and she was grinding against him. There was a time to tease, but this wasn’t that time. All he wanted was her, and he knew she wanted the same.
Leaving his clothes in place, he grabbed a condom from his wallet out of his back pocket, and she rose up enough for him to open his jeans. When he settled the condom in place, he didn’t wait. He wrapped a hand around her hip and lowered her down onto him. Their groans echoed in the bathroom as she began moving, rocking back and forth, their mouths and tongues dancing together until they had a rhythm that wasn’t about a release; it was about a connection. He felt tied to her, grounded by their history and the affection between them.
She moved faster, harder, and Sullivan leaned away. He cupped her face, held her gaze as she rode him. Lost in her eyes, he realized he knew exactly how to show her he had no intention of leaving her like he did before. That this time, it was different. That he would come back. “I love you, Clara,” he said, and she froze atop him, her eyes wide in surprise. She slid her delicate hands through his hair, and he knew now, more than ever, he had to tell her. “I have never loved anyone before you, and there was no one after you. Just you. Always you, Clara.”
She leaned in, and he thought she planned to end the conversation with a kiss. Instead, she surprised him by saying, “I love you, too, Sullivan.”
Needing to hold onto her, he tangled his fingers into her hair, holding her tight. “I’m going to make this safe and right for you and Mason. I’m going to fix all this. We will figure this out, and when I come back, we’ll be the family we should have always been, Clara.”
There was a flash in her eyes, the slight look of familiarity to know they’d been in this exact spot before. “Promise?” she asked. The exact same words she asked him seven years ago.
“Promise,” he told her firmly. He couldn’t stand that look of doubt on her face. Hated himself for it. He wished he could go back and change everything, but he couldn’t. All he had was now, and he wouldn’t waste it.
Gathering her in his arms, he gently laid her out on the bathmat. On his knees, with her love sweetening the air around him, he hooked her legs on his arms and, staring into that perfect love, wanting to stay there forever, drove into her. Claiming what he wished he could keep with him always, he took them both where they wanted to go. Together.
14
Later that night, a few hours after Sullivan said a gut-wrenching goodbye to Mason, Clara stood outside of her son’s door watching him sleep. She felt like it was impossible to draw in air into her lungs fully; everything felt empty. The way his eyes saddened when Sullivan said he had to leave to go home to play baseball caused Clara’s chest to ache, but with the promise of FaceTiming tomorrow, Mason had simply hugged Sullivan then run off to play. Alongside that, I love you, Clara, echoed in her heart. A month ago, she’d been determined to not let Sullivan back into her heart. To say goodbye at the end of his time here, able to put the mistakes of the past behind her. Now she didn’t want to say goodbye. This time, his leaving felt different, of course, but it also felt as wrong as the last time. He should be here, with them. All this pain, all the heartache. They both deserved a win. More importantly, Sullivan deserved to stop being on the receiving end of abuse, and as far as Clara was concerned, the reporters, telling their lies and spreading hate, were equally as abusive.
Clara sighed, folding her arms to warm the chill in her veins, and leaned against the doorframe, listening to Mason’s soft snores filling the room. When the coast was clear, she’d picked him up from Maisie’s, and her sister came back to the house with them. Even now, she could hear her sisters talking in her bedroom. From the beginning, all Clara had wanted to do was protect Mason. But she’d allowed her heart to open to Sullivan again. And just like before, he was gone, and all that was left was Mason and her and her heart that was hurting tonight. Unsure of her next steps, she shut the door a little then headed for her bedroom.
The moment she entered the room, Amelia, sitting against the pillows on the headboard, asked, “Do you think Sullivan will come back?”
Clara laughed softly, closing the door a little in case Mason woke up and heard them talking. “Been dying to ask that?”
“Yes,” Amelia said with a firm nod, playing with the loose strands on the quilt on her bed. “So, do you?”
Clara pondered, feeling like she was right back where she’d been the la
st time. Only this time, Sullivan’s leaving felt worse. Hurt more. “I want to say yes.”
“But you don’t think that’s true?” Maisie asked from her spot on the end of the bed.
“I think it’s complicated,” Clara explained, moving to sit with them on the bed. “I think he’ll do what he thinks is right. And right now, staying away is better. He wants to protect us. That’s his nature. He did it before, and he’ll do the same thing now.”
“Ah, I see,” Maisie stated like she knew it all.
Clara felt like she knew nothing. She frowned at her youngest sister. “Ah, I see, what?”
She blinked, as if she hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Oh, nothing.” She quickly set her gaze everywhere but on Clara.
Not going to happen. Clara reached forward and gave Maisie a pinch on her arm. “Spill it.”
“Ow,” Maisie muttered, rubbing her arm. She exchanged a long look with Amelia then said, “Okay, well, don’t rip my head off, but I mean, it seems like you two have fallen back into your old selves. He’s running from anything that’s hard. You’re letting him because you’re too afraid to be another person who makes his life hard. But the reality is that you want him to stay. And I bet money he wants to stay too.”
Clara stared blankly at her sister. “Please tell me how you got that from anything I said?” she asked in all seriousness.
Amelia cringed and lifted her hand. “Don’t kill me either, but she’s not the only one who thinks that.”
Clara looked between her sisters. “What is this? Gang-up-on-Clara time?”