Perfectly Inappropriate

“Which is not an answer.” She sighed, shaking her head again, rubbing her hands over her arms. “I can’t bury anything anymore. I buried myself for so long. And now that I’ve tasted freedom again, I can’t go back to the way I used to be.” She moved closer, without the usual warmth he felt from her. “You’re the reason I’m seeing things so clearly now. And for that, I’ll always be grateful. But I can see that I’m going to be just like Colette. I’m going to want your time. I’m going to want to see you at night. I’m going to want you to declare you care about me and show me that you do. And I don’t want to have to give you an ultimatum, because you don’t deserve that.”

“Olivia,” he said, reaching for her.

She glanced at his hand holding hers. “I’m sorry, but I can’t keep doing this. I know I’m ending the arrangement early, but I know how this will turn out. Me wanting you.”

He arched an eyebrow. “Why is wanting me a bad thing?”

“Because for so long I didn’t think, I just went with the flow. That’s how I got into trouble. Being with you made me open my eyes again. I know now that I lost myself with Cameron somewhere along the line. I can’t let that happen again.” Her voice shook when she pulled her hand away. “I’m grateful, Noah, I am. I’m grateful for all that you’ve given me this week. But at end of the day, what we had was a fantasy, and that’s all it can be.” She gestured back at the hallway. “But this…what’s happened right now…I can’t be the reason the world falls apart around you.”

“Olivia.” He reached out again.

She stepped farther back, moving closer to the door. “I can’t float through life anymore. I also can’t be blind to the truth. And the thing is…” She drew in a deep breath and choked out, “I have no doubt how easy it would be to fall in love with you.” She paused for another deep shaky breath. “And that scares me.”

“I don’t want you to be scared,” he managed, shoving his hands into his pockets, trying to respect her wishes.

“I know that, and maybe that’s what makes you so wonderful,” she said with a sweet smile. “But at the same time, there is a risk to being with you because you don’t like commitments. You give a little of yourself and that’s okay. You have a right to want relationships the way you want them, but I’m simply not a person who can live without a commitment. So where would that get us two months from now?”

A frown tugged on his mouth.

“Exactly,” she agreed with a soft nod. “Me wanting something from you that you told me upfront you could not give me. In the end, it will leave me with another broken heart…only this time, I actually think it might be worse.”

“Relationships.” He sighed. They were not his strength. “Why can’t what we have be enough?”

She paused. Those gorgeous eyes searching his. “Because I deserve the life my heart needs.” She strode forward and quickly planted a kiss on his cheek. “And you were the one who showed me that.”

He parted his lips to respond but then fell short on coming up with an answer. She was right—she deserved happiness. And yet, the words he wanted to say to stop her would not come out either. Because she was right about something else too—he could not give her the life she would want. The boyfriend who was home; he traveled so much. The man who would choose her above all else; being a senator always came first.

No matter what, he would not do what his father had done to his mother. He would not repeat his father’s mistakes. They had obstacles in their way. Big obstacles. And to keep her for himself, because it felt good being around her, because she made him happy, would only be selfish.

He was a dominant, a man who prided himself on not being selfish.

He sighed again, closed the final distance between them, and slid his hand across her cheek. “I wish I could be the man you need.”

“You were exactly the man I needed and more.” She smiled, placing her hand over his. “We had a moment. It was an amazing moment.” She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. “And I’m grateful for it.”

One look at her smile told him the right thing was to let her walk away. But as she left the room, coldness sank into the air. Noah shut his eyes and forced himself to stay put. Because he knew this mess was only going to get worse, and she deserved none of it, as much as she had not deserved what Cameron had done to her.

* * *

—

SENATOR GRANT BRAWLS ON THE STREETS OF NEW YORK CITY.

Olivia cringed from her spot on her parents’ couch in the Country Club section of the Bronx, which was located right on the edge of Pelham Bay Park. The modest redbrick, two-story house set back from the street had not changed over the years, with the exception of the restored stained glass windows along the front. The oak furniture scattered throughout the house had been there for as long as Olivia could remember. Though the cream-colored cotton couch was new. The rest of the country décor, from the horse painting above the fireplace mantel to the metal vase with fake greenery, had been there for years. Mom loved all things country. And Olivia loved her.

However, what wasn’t normal was seeing Cameron’s name splashed across the headlines. The only good sign was her name was nowhere in sight. Which meant that neither Noah nor Cameron had told the media of her involvement in all this, and for that she was grateful. For those watching the video, she looked like a pedestrian staring on in horror. “This is bad,” she finally announced to Paige sitting next to her.

Sitting in his La-Z-Boy recliner in the corner of the living room, Gerry Watts, her father, slowly turned his head. His eyes—the same color as hers—were wide with surprise. “You’re dating the senator, Noah Grant?” He had been stuck on that for a half an hour now.

Olivia sighed. “For like a blip in time.”

Her dad pointed to the television screen, which had been showing the fight between Noah and Cameron on repeat. “That doesn’t look like a man who dated you for a blip in time. That looks like a man defending your honor.”

“That’s what I told her,” said Paige.

Olivia sighed at her now. “You’re not helping.”

Paige shrugged.