Yet, every step he took forward only seemed to place him farther away. Tonight, seeing the victim there reminded Rowan of the stakes here. If he didn’t find Mia and soon, that would be her body in the next field.
He couldn’t let that happen. The thoughts of his mother falling to her knees, brokenhearted, and of his father, torn apart by grief, nearly sent him to his knees. His parents needed him to find her. Mia needed him to find her. He couldn’t fail them.
Rowan had no idea how much time had passed when the sudden click of the shower door caught his attention. He glanced back, finding Alex standing there, fully clothed. Every raw emotion burning within suddenly amplified. She felt like the one piece that kept him together in all this. As long as she was there, he knew they had a fighting chance. And the more time he spent with her, the more he knew that having her support meant more to him than having her hacking skills. He needed her there. He wanted her there. He felt less unraveled with her.
Her lips parted as she took in a harsh breath. “I’ve got—”
He let everything he wanted and needed flood into him in this moment and yanked her inside the shower. She squealed as he pulled her tight against him, into the stream of the water. Her eyes widened at whatever showed on his expression. He was sure it was a mix of dark pain and hot desire.
She blinked once and then said, “—some news.”
He scanned over her lips—that mouth that made him hungry. He glanced down at her breasts beneath her wet shirt, feasting upon her hard nipples. Then he drew her closer, pressing her up against his hard cock.
She slid her hands up his arms, his muscles quivering beneath her touch. “I haven’t found Mia yet, but you’ll want to hear what I have to say.”
“I need you,” he said, loudly and firmly, and she shut her mouth. “I’m a step away from losing the very things that hold me together.” He reached for the hem of her shirt and had it over her head faster than he was sure she expected. “And you’re the thing keeping me from losing it.” He knew what he was throwing out into the world with that statement. He didn’t care either.
Tonight, at that scene in the farmer’s field, he knew life was too fucking short. In a blink of an eye, everything could change. Five years ago, Alex had left an impression on him that he couldn’t forget. Now she had taken his heart and he didn’t want it back. He knew the day he met her the danger she presented to him. She’d shown him another side of life. And being with her again made him understand he wanted that life.
He was done running.
When she stayed silent and stared at him wide-eyed, he added, “I’ve spent my life doing the right thing. And in the end, the sweetest, most innocent person I know is in the hands of a fucking cruel killer.”
Heady emotion crossed Alex’s expression while she cupped his face. “Don’t fall apart on me now. We’re going to find her.”
“You can’t promise that,” he said. “No one can. All that’s left in this world is evil fucking people and the terrible shit they do. But then there is you…” Her fingers tightened, her breath hitching a little, as he continued. “You’re one good thing in this fucked-up world. I’m done not saying it. You came back into my life exactly when I needed you. That’s twice now.” Her bra followed before he unflicked the button on her jeans and then yanked those down until she was stepping out of them.
When he straightened up, she said, “I know you’re feeling emotional, but I think you’re going to want to—”
He grasped her hip then turned her until her back pressed against the tile on the wall. “No more talking,” he growled against her mouth. He didn’t wait for a reply. He crushed his mouth against hers, and he felt the tremble of her body when she relaxed and melted beneath his touch.
He kissed her roughly, passionately, not letting her for one second avoid following where he wanted them both to go. He wanted her. No, needed her. To feel anything but this horrible awareness that he was one step away from losing the sweet, innocent sister he adored and having to crush his parents’ hearts.
Alex gave him that safe place. Christ, she was the safe place where he could let everything go and know that somehow, he could lay all of his heavy shit on her and she could support it, and him, until he could make his way back to himself.
The water rained down on them as he reached for her thigh and hooked it over his hip. He gave her direct eye contact. “Are you protected?”
She nodded and gasped, wiggling against him. “Yes. IUD.” Then she reached around and grasped his ass in her hands, moving him closer.
He entered her with a hard thrust forward, sending her up on her tiptoes, and he went cross-eyed. Her hot and
wet heat surrounded him, and he’d never felt anything so incredible in his life. She moaned against his mouth, and he kissed her harder, devouring all the sounds she made. Every thrust was faster and harder than the one before it, until he set a rhythm that was not about loving and exploring—it was about a release. One he needed in her. His growls echoed in the shower, and his fingers dug into her hip, pinning her where he needed her to stay. And he lost himself in all of her. Until she ripped her mouth away with a scream, her eyes wild with pleasure.
Yeah, he got why. He was hard. So fucking hard.
To have her—to truly have her—it was the dream he never knew he wanted until she came back into his life.
He held on tighter, thrust harder, and released all his frustrations, concerns, everything that was building inside him. And she let him. She held onto his neck and stared at him while he used her sweet body for his needs.
Until she tipped her chin back and fell into her orgasm, her hot, wet sex clenching at him. A minute later, he came in a wild rush with a loud growl and stumbled a little on the slippery floor before Alex got her other leg down quick. His muscles burned. His chest burned. Everything fucking burned.
“Well, that’s one way to make yourself feel better,” she eventually said with a soft laugh.
He slowly lifted his eyes and saw hers widen again with surprise. “Nothing about that was me trying to feel better.” I was making you mine.
Obviously aware of his intention now, she said softly, “One step at a time, Rowan.”
He’d already taken a big step forward; she just didn’t know it yet. Before he could say as much, she went on, “I know you’re going through a lot, but it’s time to get your head back in the game. I’ve found something.”