Tell Tale: Short Stories

“Not some concert, Morag, Beethoven’s Third at the Usher Hall.”

“Will there be anything else, sir?”

“Yes, I’m just finishing off a letter to Mr. Stratton, so could you ask Hamish to come up? I’d like him to drive into the village and post it.”

“Of course, sir.”

Arthur returned to the letter.

May I also add how delighted I was to learn that you will personally be supervising my account in the future. It gives me succour to know that my affairs will be in such safe hands.

Yours sincerely

There was a knock on the door and Laidlaw walked in.

“You asked to see me, sir?”

“Yes, Hamish. Just a signature.”

A GOOD TOSS TO LOSE

MR. GRUBER HANDED back the boys’ essays before returning to his desk at the front of the class.

“Not a bad effort,” the young schoolmaster said, “except for Jackson, who clearly doesn’t believe Goethe is worthy of his attention. And as this is a voluntary class, I’m bound to ask, Jackson, why you bothered to enroll?”

“It was my father’s idea,” admitted Jackson. “He thought there might come a time when it would be useful to speak a little German.”

“How little did he have in mind?” asked the schoolmaster.

Jackson’s friend Brooke, who was seated at the desk next to him, whispered loudly enough for everyone in the class to hear, “Why don’t you tell him the truth, Oliver?”

“The truth?” repeated Gruber.

“My father is convinced, sir, that it won’t be too long before we are at war with Germany.”

“And why should he think that, may I ask? When Europe has never been at peace for such a long period of time.”

“I accept that, sir, but Pa works at the Foreign Office. Says the Kaiser is a warmonger, and given the slightest opportunity will invade Belgium.”

“But, remembering your treaty obligations,” said Gruber as he walked between the desks, “that would also drag Britain and France into the conflict.” The schoolmaster paused for thought. “So the real reason you want to learn German,” he continued, attempting to lighten the exchange, “is so you can have a chat with the Kaiser when he comes marching down Whitehall.”

“No, I don’t believe that’s what Pa had in mind, sir. I think he felt that once the Kaiser had been sent packing, if I could speak a little German, I might be in line to be a regional governor.”

The whole class burst out laughing, and began to applaud.

“We must hope for the sake of your countrymen as well as mine, Jackson, that it’s a very long line.”

“If Kaiser Bill were to wage war, sir,” said Brooke, sounding more serious, “would you have to return to your country?”

“I pray that will never happen, Brooke,” said Gruber. “I look upon England as my second home. Europe is at peace at the moment, so we must hope Jackson’s father is wrong. Nothing would be gained from such a pointless act of folly other than to set the world back a hundred years. Let us be thankful that King George V and Kaiser Wilhelm are cousins.”

“I’ve never cared much for my cousin,” said Jackson.

* * *

“Have you heard the news?” said Brooke, as he and Jackson strolled across to the refectory a few weeks later.

“What news?” said Jackson.