And Thereby Hangs a Tale

During the week, Robin would book a trunk call so they could speak to each other every evening. Diana spent her spare time looking at properties in St. Helier that might meet his requirements. She finally found a shop on the high street whose lease was about to expire, with a hotel across the road that needed to change its bed linen and towels every day, and several restaurants that believed in spotless napkins and fresh tablecloths. Robin agreed that it was the ideal location to open a branch of Chapman’s Cleaning Services.

The following Saturday he signed a three-year renewable lease, and immediately moved into the flat above the shop. If he hadn’t won Diana’s hand by the end of the lease, and also become a member of the Royal Jersey Golf Club, he would have to admit defeat, return to the mainland, and open a second branch of Chapman’s in Southend.

Although he was confident that, given time, both challenges would be surmounted, becoming a member of the RJGC turned out to be a far more difficult proposition than getting Diana to agree to be his wife.

It didn’t take long for Robin to qualify as a playing member of the Royal Jersey, and he was delighted when Nigel invited him to represent the club in the hotly contested local derby against Guernsey. Robin won his match, and proposed to Diana that night.

“What if you hadn’t been picked for the team?” she asked, unable to take her eyes off the small, sparkling diamond on the third finger of her left hand.

“I’d have whisked you off to England and sunk the Weymouth ferry,” said Robin without hesitation.

Diana laughed. “So, what are my champion’s plans for conquering the old guard who make up the committee of the Royal Jersey?”

“They’ve granted me an interview next month,” he told her, “so we’ll soon find out if we’re going to spend the rest of our lives in St. Helier or Southend-on-Sea.”

“Don’t forget that only one in three people who apply for full membership even get onto the waiting list,” Diana reminded him.

Robin smiled. “Possibly so, but with Lord Trent as my proposer, and your brother as my seconder, I must have a better than one-in-three chance.”

“So that’s why you asked me to marry you,” Diana said, still staring at her ring.

________

When the appointed hour came for Robin to appear before the committee, he admitted to Diana that he had never been so nervous, even though everyone seated on the other side of

the table seemed to smile whenever he answered their undemanding questions, and nods of approval greeted the Englishman’s detailed knowledge of the life of Harry Vardon.

Ten days later, Robin received a letter from the club secretary to say that his application had been successful and his name would be placed on the waiting list.

“The waiting list?” said Robin in frustration. “How long do they expect me to hang about before I become a member?”

“My brother warned me,” said Diana, “that if you weren’t born on the island, it usually takes ten to fifteen years.”

“Ten to fifteen years?” repeated Robin in disgust, before adding, “Lord Trent wasn’t born on the island.”

“True,” said Diana, “but at the time the committee was looking for a new president, preferably with a title, so they made him an honorary life member.”

“And are there any other honorary life members?”

“Only Harry Vardon,” replied Diana.

“Well, I’m no Harry Vardon,” said Robin.

“There’s one other way you could automatically become a life member,” said Diana.

“And what’s that?” said Robin eagerly.

“Win the President’s Cup.”

“But I was knocked out in the second round last year,” Robin reminded her. “In any case, your brother’s in a different class to me.”

“Just make sure you get to the final this year,” said Diana. “I’ll fix my brother.”

________

Robin and Diana were married at the local parish church later that summer. The vicar agreed to conduct the ceremony on a Sunday, but only because the Royal Jersey had a crucial match against Rye on the Saturday.

Robin’s father, mother, and brother had traveled over on the ferry from Southampton earlier in the week, and they spent a happy few days getting to know Diana. Long before the day of the wedding, Sybil fully understood why her son had wanted to return to Jersey after one dance. When the bride walked down the aisle, she found that the ceremony was so well attended that extra chairs had been placed at the back of the church.