And Thereby Hangs a Tale

He pressed the button, then asked, “Which department do you work in?”

“We’re cleaners,” said one of the girls.

“Well, I’ve wanted to have a word with you for some time,” said the chairman.

The girls looked anxiously at each other.

“Yours must be a thankless task at times, but I can tell you, these are the cleanest offices in the City. You should be very proud of yourselves.”

The lift came to a halt at the fifth floor.

“Thank you, Chairman,” the girls both said as they stepped out. They could only wonder if their colleagues would believe them when they told them what had just happened.

When the lift reached the top floor, the chairman strolled into his secretary’s office. “Good morning, Sally,” he said, and sat down in the seat next to her desk. She leaped up. He waved her back down with a smile.

“How did the medical go?” she asked nervously.

“Far better than I’d expected,” said the chairman. “It seems the cancer is in remission, and I could be round for another ten years.”

“That is good news,” said Sally. “So there’s no longer any reason for you to resign?”

“That’s what the doctor said, but perhaps the time has come for me to accept the fact that I’m not immortal. So there are going to be a few changes round here.”

“What exactly did you have in mind?” the secretary asked anxiously.

“To start with, I’m going to accept the board’s generous retirement package and stay on as non-executive director, but not before I’ve taken a proper holiday.”

“But will that be enough for you, Chairman?” asked his secretary, not certain she was hearing him correctly.

“More than enough, Sally. Perhaps the time has come for me to do some voluntary work. I could start by helping my local football club. They need some new changing rooms. You know, when I was a youngster, that club was the only thing that kept me off the streets, and who knows, maybe they even need a new chairman?”

His secretary couldn’t think what to say.

“And there’s something else I must do before I go, Sally.”

She picked up her notepad as the chairman removed a checkbook from an inside pocket.

“How many years have you been working for me?”

“It will be twenty-seven at the end of this month, Chairman.”

He wrote out a check for twenty-seven thousand pounds and passed it across to her. “Perhaps you should take a holiday as well. Heaven knows, I can’t have been the easiest of bosses.”

Sally fainted.

“Well, I’m off for lunch,” said Rod, checking his watch.

“Where have you got in mind?” asked Sam. “The Savoy Grill?”

“All in good time,” said Rod. “But for now I’ll have to be satisfied with the Garter Arms because the time has come for me to get to know my future colleagues in Commodities.”

“Aren’t you getting a bit above yourself, lad?”

“No, Sam, just keep your eyes open. It won’t be long before I’m their boss, because this is just the first step on my way to becoming chairman.”

“Not in my lifetime,” said Sam as he unwrapped his sandwiches.

“Don’t be so sure about that, Sam,” said Rod, taking off his long blue porter’s coat and replacing it with a smart sports jacket. He strolled across the foyer, pushed his way through the swing doors, and out onto the pavement. He glanced across the road at the Garter Arms, looking forward to taking his first step on the corporate ladder.