To Cut a Long Story Short

‘But you made no attempt to distribute the magazine, Mr Merchant.’

‘A copy of Business Enterprise UK was placed in the British Library and several other leading institutions, as stipulated in clause 19 of the Act.’

‘That may be true, but there is no escaping the fact, Mr Merchant, that you were demanding money under false pretences.’

‘Not if you state clearly on the invoice that if the client is dissatisfied with the product, they are not required to make any payment.’

‘But the wording on the invoice is so small that you would need a magnifying glass to see it.’

‘Consult the Act, Mr Jarvis, as I did. I could not find anything to indicate what size the lettering should be.’

‘And the colour?’

‘The colour?’ asked Kenny, feigning surprise.

‘Yes, Mr Merchant, the colour. Your invoices were printed on dark-grey paper, while the lettering was light grey.’

‘Those are the company colours, Mr Jarvis, as anyone would know who had looked at the cover of the magazine. And there is nothing in the Act to suggest what colour should be used when sending out invoices.’

‘Ah,’ said prosecuting counsel, ‘but there is a clause in the Act stating in unambiguous terms that the wording should be placed in a prominent position. Clause 3, paragraph 14.’

‘That is correct, Mr Jarvis.’

‘And do you feel that the back of the paper could be described as a prominent position?’

‘I certainly do,’ said Kenny. ‘After all, there wasn’t anything else on the back of the page. I do also try to keep to the spirit of the law.’

‘Then so will I,’ snapped Jarvis. ‘Because once a company has paid for an advertisement in Business Enterprise UK, is it not also correct that that company must be supplied with a copy of the magazine?’

‘Only if requested - clause 42, paragraph 9.’

‘And how many companies requested a copy of Business Enterprise UK?’

‘Last year it was 107. This year it dropped to ninety-one.’

‘And did they all receive copies?’

‘No. Unfortunately, in some cases they didn’t last year, but this year I was able to fulfil every order.’

‘So you broke the law on that occasion?’

‘Yes, but only because I was unable to print a hundred copies of the magazine, as I explained earlier.’

Mr Jarvis paused to allow the judge to complete a note. ‘I think you’ll find it’s clause 84, paragraph 6, m’lud.’

The judge nodded.

‘Finally, Mr Merchant, let me turn to something you lamentably failed to tell your defence counsel when he was questioning you.’

Kenny gripped the side of the witness box.

‘Last year you sent out 2,400 invoices. How many companies sent back payments?’

‘Around 45 per cent.’

‘How many, Mr Merchant?’

‘1,130,’ admitted Kenny.