Heaven (A Prison Diary 3)

8.09 am

I am called to reception where – no surprise – there is a new bundle of forms to be signed before I can be released.

At last, my release papers are completed by Mr Swivenbank, and he doesn’t try to hide a grin as he hands over my regulation £40. I place the notes in the charity box on the counter, shake hands with both officers and depart, with the seventh draft of a screenplay, tucked under my arm, and in my pocket a CD of a song that was performed by The Seven Deadly Sins at my farewell party last night. (See overleaf.)

Will is sitting in my car parked outside the back door, waiting for me. He drives us slowly through the phalanx of journalists who litter both sides of the road. Just as we accelerate away and I think we’ve escaped them, we spot a Sky TV news helicopter hovering above us, as well as three motorbikes with cameramen glued to the back seats, and another five cars behind them, in close pursuit. Will never once exceeded the speed limit on the journey home to Cambridge.

On arrival back at the Old Vicarage, Mary dashes out to greet me, and I make a short press statement:

Press Release: Embargoed until midnight, Sunday 20 July 2003

Statement by Jeffrey Archer

I want to thank my wife Mary and my sons, William and James, for their unwavering and unstinting support during this unhappy period in my life.

I should also like to thank the many friends who took the trouble to visit me in prison, as well as countless members of the public who sent letters, cards and gifts.

I shall not be giving any interviews for the foreseeable future. However, I have accepted an invitation to address the Howard League for Penal Reform’s conference at New College Oxford in September, and several requests to do charity auctions in the run up to Christmas.

JEFFREY

(to the tune of ‘Daniel’ by Elton John)

Jeffrey is leaving today down the lane

I can see the paparazzi, flashing away in vain;

Oh, and I can see Jeffrey waving goodbye;

God, it looks like Jeffrey might have a teardrop in his eye.

Oh, ooh, Jeffrey our brother, bet you’re glad to be free;

Now you can tell the world what you think of Narey.

You did time well, it’s now your time to tell;

Jeffrey, you’re a star, go on, son, give ‘em hell.

I have not given an interview to the press, or appeared on radio or television, since.

During the last year, I have addressed a dozen or so organizations since speaking to the Howard League, including the Disraelian Society, Trinity College Oxford, the Thirty Club, the Hawks club and the Criminal Law Solicitors’ Association.

I have also conducted twenty charity auctions, raising just over a million pounds, and run the Flora London marathon (5 hrs 26 mins) where I was overtaken by a camel, a phone box, a cake and a girl walking.

Most of my spare time has been taken up with carrying out research for my next novel – and continuing to work on the screenplay of Mallory: Walking Off the Map.

Notes

1 NSC has two blocks, north and south, with about 110 prisoners resident in each.

2 While tagged, you must remain at home between 7 pm and 7 am.

3 You cannot escape from an open prison, only abscond. There are no walls, just a car barrier at the entrance and a public footpath at the back. Most prisoners who abscond do so in the first two weeks. Nine out of ten are back behind bars within forty-eight hours.

4 There are five grades of governor; the top man or woman is known as the governing governor. I still haven’t met one.

5 Matthew will end up serving five and a half months.