Heaven (A Prison Diary 3)

6 This is only true in D-cats – open prisons.

7 A two-year period of compulsory service in one of the branches of the armed forces, which ceased to apply for anyone born after 1940.

8 the door to each inmate’s room has a large glass panel in it, covered in wire mesh. On the outside is a green curtain to stop casual passers-by peering in. However, during the night, prison officers hold back the curtain to check you’re in bed and haven’t absconded.

9 Mr New banned all mouthwashes from the canteen following a similar incident a year ago. As Storr purchased the bottle at his last prison, Mr New is issuing a new directive, that any new prisoners arriving at NSC with mouthwash will have the bottles confiscated.

10 The government dropped the bill in March 2004.

11 I never phone Mary on her mobile because my two-pound phone card is gobbled up in moments.

12 No suggestion of a scandal at Spring Hill appeared in the national press during the next twelve months.

13 Because the last prison pays the expense of discharging a prisoner.

14 See Volume II — Wayland: Purgatory.

15 In Belmarsh., around 70 per cent of the inmates were black, in Wayland 30 per cent, and currently at NSC we have four black prisoners out of 207. I’m not sure what this proves: possibly there might be more black prisoners involved in violent crime than in fraud.

16 An inmate who completes a quarter of his sentence and proves to be a model prisoner is eligible for outside work. First he must complete two town visits without incident. The next step is to apply for Community Service Volunteers work (CSV), perhaps in an old people’s home or an Oxfam shop. Once he’s completed a month of CSV without incident, he can move on to a wage-earning job, making perhaps £200-£250 a week. This gives a prisoner the chance to send money back to his wife or partner, and to build up some savings to fall back on once released.

17 Interesting grammatical error.

18 Frank flew from LA to London to appear in my trial to deny a statement by Angie Peppiatt that I had been in Rome with a mistress when in fact I had been with Frank attending the World Athletics Championships. Not that I think Mr Justice Potts gave a damn, as by then he had already made up his mind that I was guilty.

19 Mr and Mrs Barker are now separated. Mrs Barker stood down from the parole board in September 2001.

20 He was very distressed to learn last year that the Home Office was considering closing the prison.

21 So-called vanity publishers are only too happy to publish your book – if, along with the script, you enclose a cheque for £3,000.

22 The prison is entitled to keep you until midnight on the day of your release, but you’re usually off the premises by nine o’clock.

23 Baroness Nicholson wrote to Sir John Stevens, Commission

er of the Metropolitan Police, in July 2001, demanding ‘an investigation into the involvement of Jeffrey Archer in funds raised and spent through the Simple Truth Appeal’. This precipitated not only a police enquiry, but a lengthy and expensive investigation by KPMG on behalf of the Red Cross. Baroness Nicholson’s insinuation that I had stolen money from the Appeal was irresponsible and wholly without foundation, and on 23 January 2002, the police closed their enquiry ‘in view of … the lack of any evidence from the informant’.

24 He later wrote to tell me that his old firm took him back the day he was released, and treated the six weeks absence as holiday on full pay.

25 Caused by the problem of overcrowding.

26 The analgesic the inmates most commonly ask for is Kapake which is a mixture of paracetamol and codeine. The reason is that codeine will show up in MDT as an opiate, and thus disguise illegal opiates. The user can then protest, ‘But I’m taking Kapake which the doctor prescribed.’ Prison doctors are now trying to limit the use of Kapake and diazepam when a prisoner has a record of taking drugs.

27 Mr Leighton is unable to make the decision himself. He reports back the following day that the BBC had already been in touch with the Home Office, and they have been turned down.

28 The full report was published in the Criminal Law Review of August 2003.

29 I was president of the World Snooker Association until I was arrested, when the board asked me to resign. Two other bodies expelled me, the Royal Society of Arts and the MCC.

30 Two prisoners absconded during their first week at work. Both were caught and transferred to a B-cat in Nottingham. Two were found in a pub and are back working on the farm; while three were sacked for inappropriate behaviour – unwanted advances to the female staff. And that was in the first week.

31 Most sex offenders, when housed in an open prison, are given a cover story should anyone ask what they are in for.

32 They did. It was published in the Sunday Mirror the next day. (See overleaf.)

33 See map page 414.

34 I had no idea how important this lunch would turn out to be on the evening I wrote these words.