“Yeah.”
“That’s… I mean….”
“What?”
“I just, I don’t know what that means, ‘finding Christ’.”
“It means allowing Jesus into your heart.”
“I still don’t know what that means.”
Paul ran the fingers of his free hand over his forehead, as though he could dislodge the right words from his brain by massage. “It means accepting that you are loved as you are, whoever you are. You are worthy of love and Jesus loves you.”
“Jesus loves me.”
“Yeah.”
“But….”
“What?”
“No, nothing. That’s cool.”
“But what?”
“Well, I mean… so what? I mean, what good does that do? Jesus can’t hold you in his arms. You can’t call him when your car breaks down. He’s like the ultimate unattainable man.”
The ultimate unattainable man. Paul liked that. He wondered if he could somehow use it in a sermon.
“He can’t hold you in his arms,” Paul said, trying his best to avoid using a preacher tone, “but sometimes people have trouble finding that in life. Even if you have someone who can hold you in their arms, maybe they’re distracted with stress about their own problems. They just can’t always be what you need. Jesus is always there. When everyone else is unreachable, he never goes away.”
“So it’s like a fantasy romance,” Ian said. A romance with Jesus, now there was Paul’s sermon topic.
“I’ve seen it make a real difference in people’s lives,” Paul said. “When people know they’re loved, they don’t treat one another as badly.”
“Hmm.”
“You’re not convinced.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“If that’s the way it works in your church, then that’s great,” Ian said. “I know you believe what you’re saying. But a lot of people talk about finding Jesus and accepting Christ as their savior and then go around bashing other people.”
“You can’t blame Christianity for the things some people do in its name.”
“Why not? They give Christianity the credit, why shouldn’t I give it the blame?”
“Because…. Why? Because it’s not for them,” Paul said. “It’s for you, because I think you’re missing out. There’s a whole spiritual, religious dimension of life. You shouldn’t let other people’s attitudes rob you of that. It’s important. You’re like… you know what you’re like? You’re like a guy who’s had his heart broken who vows never to love anybody again. That doesn’t hurt anybody but himself.”
“So you’re saying Jesus broke my heart, but I should give him another chance.”
“That’s basically what I’m saying. It sounds like you had a bad breakup. But you can love again.”
“You seem like a hell of a minister, Paul.”
“That’s a unique way to put it.”