“Listen,” Paul said. “I was thinking…. Could you turn that off a minute?”
Ian removed the bud from the other ear and put the player to the side.
“Listen,” Paul started again. “I was thinking. The ladies from the Worship Committee are coming by in a little while.”
“Yeah, I know,” Ian said. “You told me.”
“No, it’s….” Paul scratched his forehead. “I was thinking that maybe… if you wouldn’t mind… maybe you could go to the library or something.”
Ian looked confused. “You need a book?”
“No… I just thought….”
“You’re doing a lot of thinking.”
“I just thought that maybe it would be better if you went somewhere else for a little while. Just during the meeting.”
“Went somewhere else?”
“Just during the meeting.”
Ian’s face tightened, creating a line between his eyebrows. “Oh, just during the meeting,” he said. “Not for my whole life.”
“I knew you’d get upset,” Paul said, kicking at a fuzz ball on the carpet with his toe.
“Then why did you ask?”
“Could you maybe stand up? It’s weird talking to you down on the floor.”
Ian stood up, put his hands on his hips, and glared. Somehow that was not a lot better.
“Just during the meeting,” Paul said again.
“Are you going to be talking about something I’m not supposed to know about?” Ian asked. “Like, are you planning a surprise party for me?”
“No, it’s just all the gossip lately…. I think….”
“Jesus Christ!” Ian started to pace. “Everyone knows I live here. It’s not a secret.”
“I know, but it’s different seeing it.”
“Seeing it? What are they going to see? Me sitting on the futon?”
Paul looked up at the ceiling. “You’re being selfish.”
“I’m being selfish? I’m being selfish? Oh my God!”
“Will you…. You know how important my ministry is to me. I just want….”
“I don’t care about your ministry? I don’t care what you want? You think this is fun for me? You think I like it when you introduce me to people like I’m your ward or something? Why do you think I put up with that? Because I don’t care about your career? Because I don’t care about you? When was the last time you stopped to think about what I want? When?”
“Okay, calm down. You’re right. You’re right. You’re not selfish. I shouldn’t have said that. It’s my problem. But….” He looked at his watch. “Can’t you help me out? Just today. We can fight about it later if you want.”
“Is this my home? Is it? Or is it your house and you’re just letting me stay here.”
“It’s our home.”
Ian grasped the air in front of him with half-closed fists, too upset to find the words for what he wanted to say.