New girlfriends came, and went as soon as they talked of marriage. The Jewish ones usually raised the subject within a week the Gentiles, I found, waited a little longer. I even began living with one of them, Rebecca Wertz, but that too ended—on a Thursday.
I was driving to the office that morning—it must have been a little after eight, which was late for me—when I saw Christina on the other side of the busy highway, a barrier separating us. She was standing at a bus stop holding the band of a little boy, who must have been about five—my son.
The heavy morning traffic allowed me a little longer to stare in disbelief. I found that I wanted to look at them both at once. She wore a long lightweight coat that showed she had not lost her figure. Her face was serene and only reminded me why she was rarely out of my thoughts. Her son—our son—was wrapped up in an oversize duffel coat and his head was covered by a baseball hat that informed me that he supported the Toronto Dolphins. Sadly, it actually stopped me seeing what be looked like. You can’t be in Toronto, I remember thinking, you’re meant to be in Montreal. I watched them both in my side-mirror as they climbed onto a bus. That particular Thursday I must have been an appalling counselor to every client who sought my advice.
For the next week I passed by that bus stop every morning within minutes of the time I had seen them standing there but never saw them again. I began to wonder if I had imagined the whole scene. Then I spotted Christina again when I was returning across the city, having visited a client. She was on her own and I braked hard as I watched her entering a shop on Bloor Street. This time I double-parked the car and walked quickly across the road feeling like a sleazy private detective who spent his life peeping through keyholes.
What I saw took me by surprise—not to find her in a beautiful dress shop, but to discover it was where she worked.
The moment I saw that she was serving a customer I hurried back to my car. Once I had reached my office I asked my secretary if she knew of a shop called “Willing’s.”
My secretary laughed. “You must pronounce it the German way, the W becomes a V,” she explained, “thus ‘Villing’s.’ If you were married you would know that it’s the most expensive dress shop in town,” she added.
“Do you know anything else about the place?” I asked, trying to sound casual.
“Not a lot,” she said. “Only that it is owned by a wealthy German lady called Mrs. Klaus Willing whom they often write about in the women’s magazines.”
I didn’t need to ask my secretary any more questions and I won’t trouble you, Father, with my detective work. But, armed with those snippets of information, it didn’t take long to discover where Christina lived, that her husband was an overseas director with BMW, and that they had only the one child.
The old rabbi breathed deeply as he glanced up at the clock on his desk, more out of habit than any desire to know the time. He paused only for a moment before returning to the letter. He had been so proud of his lawyer son then; why hadn’t he made the first step toward a reconciliation?
How he would have liked to have seen his grandson.
My ultimate decision did not require an acute legal mind, just a little common sense—although a lawyer who advises himself undoubtedly has a fool for a client. Contact, I decided, had to be direct and a letter was the only method I felt Christina would find acceptable.
I wrote a simple message that Monday morning, then rewrote it several times before I telephoned “Fleet Deliveries” and asked them to hand it to her in person at the shop. When the young man left with the letter I wanted to follow him, just to be certain be had given it to the right person. I can still repeat it word for word.
Dear Christina,
You must know I live and work in Toronto. Can we meet? I will wait for you in the lounge of the Royal York Hotel every evening between six and seven this week. If you don’t come be assured I will never trouble you again.
Benjamin
I arrived that evening thirty minutes early. I remember taking a seat in a large impersonal lounge just off the main hall and ordering coffee.
“Will anyone be joining you, sir?” the waiter said.
“I can’t be sure,” I told him. No one did join me, but I still hung around until seven forty.
By Thursday the waiter stopped asking if anyone would be joining me as I sat alone and allowed yet another cup of coffee to grow cold. Every few minutes I checked my watch. Each time a woman with blonde hair entered the lounge my heart leaped but it was never the woman I hoped to see.
It was just before seven on Friday that I finally saw Christina standing in the doorway. She wore a smart blue suit buttoned up almost to the neck and a white blouse that made her look as if she were on her way to a business conference. Her long fair hair was pulled back behind her ears to give an impression of severity, but however hard she tried she could not be other than beautiful. I stood and raised my arm. She walked quickly over and took the seat beside me. We didn’t kiss or shake hands and for some time didn’t even speak.
“Thank you for coming,” I said.
“I shouldn’t have, it was foolish.”
Some time passed before either of us spoke again.
“Can I pour you a coffee?” I asked.
“Yes, thank you.”
“Black?”
“Yes.”
“You haven’t changed.”