“Right,” he agrees halfheartedly. “Look, Kat, I wanted to apologize for being a jerk earlier. I was out of line.”
“I’ll say.”
“This whole situation has thrown me off kilter, you know? Everything feels like it’s spiraling out of control. I do trust you and I definitely don’t think you’re a whore. I didn’t mean to act like such a caveman—I couldn’t stand seeing that little punk put his hands all over you and I reacted.”
I soften a bit. “Dylan and I are just friends.”
“Friends who have sex,” he speculates.
“Friends who have had sex,” I correct. “Past tense. It’s been a couple months since we were last together and I have no intention of going back for more.” Although I didn’t realize that until just now.
“So when he looks at you like he’s undressing you with his eyes—which he does all the time by the way— it’s because he knows what’s underneath your clothes? I really wish you’d said I was imagining the whole thing.”
I take a moment to think about how I want to say this. “Gavin, what are you doing? Why does it matter who sees me naked? We both agreed that nothing could happen between us after yesterday. Have you changed your mind or something?”
“I can’t change my mind, Kat...even if I wanted to. It’s bad enough I did what I did yesterday.”
“It took two of us to do that, you know.”
He sighs deeply. “True, but I’m the one who’s in a position of trust at that school. It doesn’t matter that we’re not breaking any laws. Eighteen may be old enough to consent, but being with you still compromises my professional code. This is only my third year of teaching and I’ve already broken the cardinal rule. They warn us about being attracted to our students when you choose to teach secondary ed. They go into great detail about how to avoid this exact situation. Yet here I am.”
“And you blame me for that?”
“No, I don’t blame you. We met over the summer and I’ve never taught at McKinley before. I would’ve definitely been more cautious had I known your real age, but it is what it is. Hell, who am I kidding? I probably wouldn’t have cared even if I did know. I can’t seem to help myself where you’re concerned. Age is relative anyway—my parents have a fifteen-year gap between them and they’re the happiest couple I know. In my opinion, the only time it matters is when it’s illegal.”
“Well, good for you that I was legal to the day then, huh?” I smirk. “You’re much too pretty for prison.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “Not funny.”
I shrug. “Just trying to lighten the mood.”
“No, you’re using humor as a defense mechanism.”
“I already have a shrink, Gavin. I don’t need another one.”
He flinches. “Why do you have a shrink?”
I gesture toward our surroundings. “Do you really have to ask? You’ve met my mother and she only scratches the surface of my fucked-up life.”
“Why do you live with her anyway?”
I probably look as confused as I feel. “What do you mean?”
“Why do you live with someone who is clearly…unfit? What about your father?”
“I don’t have a father; never have.”
He gives me a sympathetic look. “Kat, I’m going to put on my teacher hat here. You have resources. I know you’re eighteen, but you’re still in school. You don’t have to be in this situation.”
“Trust me, I know all about my resources,” I sneer. “I’ve been in and out of foster care since I was a toddler. I know it works out for tons of people, but all I’ve seen are the flaws. I voluntarily left when I became a legal adult and I have no intention of signing myself back in. Under any circumstances.”
“But what about maintaining your grades? Getting into college? I’m sure living under the same roof as that woman makes it challenging.”
“Take off the teacher hat, Gavin. I don’t need another guidance counselor either.”
He blows out a breath. “I’m just trying to help.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “If I need your help, I’ll ask…but don’t hold your breath. I may be young, but trust me when I say that I’ve lived through a lot. And I’ve survived this long with stellar grades to boot. Surviving is what I do.”