Beautifully Broken

He chuckles. “The lady at the humane society said that male cats are better snugglers.” He nods his head to the feline pressing his body into my breasts. “He certainly seems to like snuggling your chest. Lucky bastard.”

I make cooing noises and kiss the kitty’s wet, pink nose. “Oh, don’t listen to that guy, baby. He didn’t mean to call you a bad name.”

Gavin looks at me thoughtfully.

“What?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s cute seeing you be so nurturing. I wouldn’t think that would come naturally considering…”

“Considering I’ve had shit role models?” I finish.

“Yeah, that,” he laughs.

“It is what it is. I’ve always told myself that if I ever became a mom again, I’ll do the opposite of what Cybil would do and I’ll be set.”

He gives me a sad smile. “Do you want more kids someday?”

“Maybe,” I shrug. “Down the road…like way down the road. I’d have to get away from this town and experience life first, though. Ya know? I need to know that I can take care of myself in the real world before settling down and bringing a helpless child into the mix. Plus, my head needs to be in a better place. Only time will tell if that happens.”

Gavin pets the kitty on the head. “Maybe I can help with that. The better place part.”

I smile at him. “You already are.”

“We’ll talk more about the baby part after.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s a little early to ask if you can put babies in me. Don’t ya think?”

He laughs. “Yeah, maybe. So what are you thinking for names?”

I look into the kitty’s golden green eyes. “He looks like a Frodo to me.”

Gavin’s lips quirk up in the corners. “Really?”

“What’s wrong with Frodo?”

“Nothing. You just never fail to surprise me. You don’t seem like the typical Lord of the Rings fan.”

“Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones…I love them all. When you live in my world, fantasy realms provide a nice break.”

He scratches the cat behind the ears. “Frodo it is, then.” Gavin fumbles with the collar around the kitten’s neck before revealing a shiny silver key. “I do have another question for you.”

“What’s that? Why is there a key around his neck?”

“It’s for you. I know it seems fast but I want you to move in with me.”

“What?” I’m too surprised to string together more words.

I stare as he removes the key from the ring around Frodo’s collar. “Will you move in with me, Kat? You wouldn’t have to work at the club anymore.”

“Is that what this is about?” I ask. “You want me to move in with you so I don’t have to take my clothes off to pay rent?”

“No,” he denies. “I want you to move in because I can’t stand waking up without you. I can’t stand having to go all day without being able to touch you. Our situation isn’t the best but I want to make it better. This allows us to be together as much as possible. I thought getting you out of that apartment and into my bed was a good start.”

Tears prick at my eyes. “Gavin, I can’t.”

His brows furrow. “Why not? It’s the perfect solution.”

“I don’t need a solution,” I insist. “I need to know that I can make it on my own. I need to prove to myself that it’s possible.” When I see the hurt on his face I backpedal. “That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. They’re completely independent from each other. Am I making any sense?”