Beautifully Broken

“So…you wanna go out in the living room to talk?”

I think he’s agreeing as he steps out of bed wearing a pair of low-hanging basketball shorts. Jesus, I want to run my tongue over the V on his lower abdomen. I love that V. He joins me by the door and tugs on both hands, pulling me further into the room.

“No.”

“No?” I repeat. “Why not?”

His hands move to each side of my face as he crouches down. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”

“Gavin,” I chide. “You said you wanted to talk. That you have something to tell me.”

“I know.” He lightly presses his lips to mine before pulling back. “And I do. But first, I need you. We can talk in the morning.”

Oh, God, I’m tempted. So tempted. “I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He smirks before tugging on my bottom lip. “Yes, you do.”

Damn it, I do. I really do. I hate that he can reduce me to nothing but a pile of hormones with that sexy smirk of his.

“Gavin, we can’t keep using sex to communicate with each other,” I argue. “We need to start using some actual words.”

He pulls me toward the bed and I’m not doing much to protest. “I know. And we will; I promise. In the morning.”

“Gavin, I don’t think—”

“Kat, do you want me?” he interrupts.

“That’s not a fair question,” I whine.

“It’s a yes or no question. Do. You. Want. Me.”

“You know I do,” I whimper.

“Then let me have this moment,” he begs. “Let us have this moment. All your questions will be answered in the morning.”

I know I’m being weak but I can’t deny him. I don’t want to deny him. “Okay.”

He flashes a blinding smile before branding me with his lips and tongue. I give into the kiss without the slightest bit of resistance as my entire body comes alive with desire. He rips his mouth from mine and gazes at me breathlessly. Neither one of us says a word as he undresses me, peeling away each layer of clothing with this crazy mixture of gentleness and impatience. There’s something so tender about the way he looks at me while he’s kneeling on the floor, removing my panties.

He lowers me to the bed, fully naked, while he’s still wearing his shorts. He spreads my thighs and trails one finger down the center of my body before lowering his head. I practically jump out of my skin the moment his mouth touches my heated flesh. I squirm and moan as his tongue swirls around and around. A shudder runs throughout my entire body so fast it surprises both of us as I’m crying out in ecstasy.

I’m still trembling when he crawls up my body for a kiss. I can taste myself on his lips which drives me into this wild frenzy of lust. I pull on his hair and hook my toes into the elastic band around his waist, pushing the shorts down. I reach down to take his length into my hand and guide him into my body. As he settles in as deep as he can be, he grabs my hand and flattens my palm over his left pec.

“Do you feel how fast my heart is beating?” he asks. “Only you do this to me, Kat. You own my heart and every piece of my soul. Nothing and no one will ever change that.”

His words are everything that a woman wants to hear from the man she loves. From the man she can’t imagine living her life without. Yet as I feel the steady thumping of his heart, my world feels like it’s shifted on its axis. There’s a crushing weight on my chest because I can’t shake this horrible sense of foreboding. Gavin must see the anguish in my eyes because his fingers curl around mine and he kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before. He steals my breath, my thoughts, my entire being with this kiss.

Our lips never part as he moves in and out of my body, burying himself deeper and harder with each thrust. He plays my body like a maestro, bringing me to new heights that I couldn’t have ever dreamed possible. With one final grunt, he stills inside of me and remains that way for several long moments while we catch our breath.

“I love you, Kat,” he whispers against my lips. “I love you so fucking much it hurts.”

He kisses me softly one last time before pulling out and collapsing to the side, cradling my head against his chest. I’m not sure which is more overwhelming: the emotion from everything that just happened, or the complete sense of dread for what’s to come.

“Gavin—”

“Shh, Kat. Just sleep for now. We’ll figure everything out after we’ve had some rest.”

I want to argue but my body and my brain are so exhausted I can’t summon the strength. So instead, I snuggle into him and allow his heartbeat to lull me to sleep for what I fear may be the last time.