Beautifully Broken

He rubs his hand over his face and groans. “I don’t know. My God, I can’t believe you’ve been right here this whole time!”

“Gavin, would it have really mattered? Or would you have been walking around looking for ghosts the entire time, like I have? You already admitted that you weren’t going to call me after you discovered the truth. Because you thought you were doing what was best for me. Well, I was doing the same for you when I made that decision! Do you know what it feels like to wonder if today was going to be the day that I ran into you? To feel hope every time I saw someone that resembled you, only to be crushed when it turned out it wasn’t? I knew what I was signing up for, but it wouldn’t have been fair to put you through that too with a baby on the way.”

“There was no baby!” he whisper shouts.

I throw my hands up. “I didn’t know that, Gavin! If I did, I wouldn’t have been terrified these past few years that we’d cross paths and I’d have to see you with someone else. I wanted you to be happy—I swear. I just couldn’t bear the thought of seeing it firsthand if it wasn’t with me.” I hang my head in my hands.

“There hasn’t been anyone else.”

My head snaps up. “What?”

“There hasn’t been anyone else,” he repeats. “Since we…since you left. I haven’t been with anyone else.”

“Are you trying to tell me that you haven’t dated anyone since me?”

“I’ve gone out on a few dates here and there,” he replies. “But no one interested me enough to take it any further.”

“Are you really saying you haven’t had sex since we were last together?”

He shrugs. “I didn’t really see the point. I knew those women couldn’t hold a candle to you.”

I slam my hand over my mouth as my eyes fill with tears. “Oh. My. God. You’ve been celibate for four years? Because of me?”

“I suppose it’s too much to hope that you have been too,” he says with a sad smile.

“Gavin—”

He holds his hand up. “No, it’s okay; I don’t want you to answer that.”

“I was trying to move on,” I explain anyway. “I thought you had a family. You could’ve been married again. I was in two short-term relationships but that’s it. They were the only ones.”

He winces. “Kat, please don’t say any more. I really don’t want to picture you with anyone else either.”

“I’m sorry,” I sniff. “I was just trying to move forward with my life. I thought about you every day—you were the only one in my life that made everything better.”

“Even when I broke your heart?”

“Even then,” I wipe the corner of my eye. “Being with you made me a stronger person, Gavin. I would’ve never made it through the past few years if I wasn’t. God, I’m so sorry for this entire shitty situation.”

He grabs my hand over the table. “Please don’t apologize; you have nothing to be sorry for. There wasn’t a day that went by when I didn’t think about you too, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “So…where do we go from here?”

I decide to take Bree’s advice and spin the wheel of chance. “Do you have any plans on Saturday night? I need a date for a wedding.”

He grins from ear-to-ear. “I can’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

Gavin

I’M THE LUCKIEST BASTARD ALIVE.

I glance to my left and see Jack smiling at the flower girl, little two-year-old Emma, as she’s walking down the aisle. About halfway into her march, she dumps the entire basket of red rose petals over and begins twirling in circles, bringing soft chuckles from the crowd. Breanna steps away from her maid-of-honor post to collect her daughter and deposits her into a chair with her daddy. She gives me a small smile as she takes her place again, knowing how eager I am for what’s about to happen.

I stand up a little bit straighter, craning my neck toward the house when the music changes to Canon in D Major. My parents have transformed their backyard into the perfect intimate wedding venue. Three rows of white guest chairs line both sides of the garden with meticulously manicured lawn in between. I’m standing up front under the pergola, along with our minister, my brother, and Kat’s best friend. Our ceremony i

s small—only family and close friends. I tried encouraging her to go big—something so grand that she will remember it for the rest of her life—but she declined, saying that no matter what the day holds, she’ll remember it forever because of the man waiting for her at the end of the aisle. As I said before: Luckiest. Bastard. Alive.