As the Crow Flies

“And what has that to do with me?” Mrs. Trentham stared directly at me with no fear showing in her eyes.

“Simply that your son is undoubtedly the father.”

“We only have her word for that, Colonel.”

“That, madam, was unworthy of you,” I told her. “I know Miss Salmon to be a thoroughly decent and honest girl. And in any case, if it were not your son, who else could it have possibly been?”

“Heaven knows,” said Mrs. Trentham. “Any number of men, I would have thought, judging by her reputation. After all, her father was an immigrant.”

“So was the King’s father, madam,” I reminded her. “But he still would have known how to conduct himself had he been faced with the same predicament.”

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Colonel.”

“I mean, madam, that your son must either marry Miss Salmon or at least resign from the regiment and make suitable arrangements to see the child is properly provided for.”

“It seems I must make it clear to you once again, Colonel, that this sad state of affairs has nothing whatsoever to do with my son. I can assure you that Guy stopped seeing the girl some months before he sailed for India.”

“I know that is not the case, madam, because—”

“Do you, Colonel? Then I must ask what exactly this whole business has to do with you in the first place?”

“Simply that Miss Salmon and Mr. Trumper are both colleagues of mine,” I explained.

“I see,” she said. “Then I suspect you will not have to look much further to discover who is the real father.”

“Madam, that was also uncalled for. Charlie Trumper is not—”

“I cannot see any purpose in continuing this conversation, Colonel,” Mrs. Trentham said, rising from her chair. She began to walk towards the door, not even bothering to glance in my direction. “I must warn you, Colonel, that should I hear this slander repeated in any quarter I shall not hesitate to instruct solicitors to take the necessary action to defend my son’s good reputation.”

Although shaken, I followed her into the hall, determined to see that the matter was not allowed to rest there. I now felt Major Trentham was my only hope. As Mrs. Trentham opened the front door to show me out I said firmly, “May I presume, madam, that you will recount this conversation faithfully to your husband?”

“You may presume nothing, Colonel,” were her final words as the front door was slammed in my face. The last occasion I received such treatment from a lady had been in Rangoon, and I’m bound to say that the girl in question had considerably more reason to be aggrieved.

When I repeated the conversation to Elizabeth—as accurately as I could recall—my wife pointed out to me in that clear, concise way of hers that I had been left with only three choices. The first was to write to Captain Trentham directly and demand he do the decent thing, the second would be to inform his commanding officer of everything I knew.

“And the third?” I asked.

“Never to refer to the subject again.”

I considered her words carefully, and chose the middle course, dropping a note to Ralph Forbes, a first-class fellow who had succeeded me as colonel, acquainting him with the facts as I knew them. I chose my words most judiciously, aware that if Mrs. Trentham were to carry out her threat any legal action she took could only bring the regiment’s good name into disrepute, perhaps even ridicule. However, I did at the same time decide to keep a fatherly eye on Becky, as she now seemed to be burning the candle at both ends, not to mention in the middle. After all, the girl was trying to prepare for her exams, as well as act as an unpaid secretary and accountant to a thriving little business, while everyone who passed her in the street must have known that it could only be a matter of weeks before she was due to give birth.

As those weeks passed, it worried me that nothing seemed to be happening on the Trentham front despite the fact that I had received a reply from Forbes assuring me that he had set up a panel of inquiry. Certainly when I inquired further of Daphne or Charlie neither of them seemed to be any better informed than I was.

It was in mid-October that year that Daniel George was born, and I was touched that Becky invited me to be a godparent, along with Bob Makins and Daphne. I was even more delighted when I learned from Bec

ky that she and Charlie were to be married the following week. It wouldn’t stop wagging tongues, of course, but at least the child would be considered legitimate in the eyes of the law.

Elizabeth and I, along with Daphne, Percy, Mrs. Salmon, Miss Roach and Bob Makins, attended the simple civil service at Chelsea Register Office, followed by a boisterous reception in Charlie’s flat above the shop.

I began to think that perhaps everything had worked out for the best until some months later Daphne telephoned, asking urgently to see me. I took her to lunch at the club, where she produced a letter that she had received from Captain Trentham that morning. As I read his words I became painfully aware that Mrs. Trentham must have learned of my own letter to Forbes warning him of the consequences of a breach-of-promise suit, and immediately taken matters into her own hands. I felt the time had come to let her son know that he had not got away with it.

I left my guest to have coffee while I retired to the writing room and with the help of a stiff brandy began to compose an even stiffer letter, I can tell you. I felt my final effort covered all the necessary points in as diplomatic and realistic a way as was possible given the circumstances. Daphne thanked me, and promised she would send the letter on to Trentham verbatim.

I didn’t have another conversation with her again until we met at her wedding a month later, and that was hardly an appropriate time to broach the subject of Captain Trentham.

After the service was over I strolled round to Vincent Square where the reception was being held. I kept a wary eye out for Mrs. Trentham who I assumed had also been invited. I had no desire to hold a second conversation with that particular lady.

I was, however, delighted to catch up with Charlie and Becky in the large marquee that had been erected especially for the occasion. I have never seen the girl looking more radiant, and Charlie could almost have been described as suave standing there in his morning coat, gray cravat and topper. The fine half hunter that hung from his waistcoat turned out to be a wedding gift from Becky, left to her by her father, she explained, although the rest of the outfit, Charlie reported, had to be returned to Moss Bros. first thing the following morning.