As the Crow Flies

“Two thousand, five hundred in the center of the room. Do I see three thousand?”

Mr. Wrexall’s hand rose an inch from his knee, then fell back. A deep frown formed on his face. “Do I see three thousand?” Mr. Fothergill asked for a second time. Charlie couldn’t believe his luck. He was going to get Number 1 for two thousand, five hundred. Each second felt like a minute as he waited for the hammer to come down.

“Do I hear three thousand bid anywhere in the room?” said Mr. Fothergill, sounding a little disappointed. “Then I am offering Number 1 Chelsea Terrace at two thousand, five hundred pounds for the first time…” Charlie held his breath. “For the second time.” The auctioneer started to raise his gavel “…Three thousand pounds,” Mr. Fothergill announced with an audible sigh of relief, as Mrs. Trentham’s gloved hand settled back in her lap.

“Three thousand, five hundred,” said Charlie as Mr. Fothergill smiled in his direction, but as soon as he looked back towards Mrs. Trentham she nodded to the auctioneer’s inquiry of four thousand pounds.

Charlie allowed a second or two to pass before he stood up, straightened his tie and, looking grim, walked slowly down the center of the aisle and out onto the street. He didn’t see Becky put her glasses on, or the look of triumph that came over Mrs. Trentham’s face. “Do I see four thousand, five hundred pounds?” asked the auctioneer, and with only a glance towards where Becky was seated he said, “I do.”

Fothergill returned to Mrs. Trentham and asked, “Five thousand pounds, madam?” Her eyes quickly searched round the room, but it became obvious for all to see that she couldn’t work out where the last bid had come from. Murmurs started to turn into chatter as everyone in the auction house began the game of searching for the bidder. Only Becky, safely in her back row seat, didn’t move a muscle.

“Quiet, please,” said the auctioneer. “I have a bid of four thousand, five hundred pounds. Do I see five thousand anywhere in the room?” His gaze returned to Mrs. Trentham. She raised her hand slowly, but as she did so swung quickly round to see if she could spot who was bidding against her. But no one had moved when the auctioneer said, “Five thousand, five hundred. I now have a bid of five thousand, five hundred.” Mr. Fothergill surveyed his audience. “Are there any more bids?” He looked in Mrs. Trentham’s direction, but she in turn looked baffled, her hands motionless in her lap.

“Then it’s five thousand, five hundred for the first time,” said Mr. Fothergill. “Five thousand, five hundred for a second time”—Becky pursed her lips to stop herself from breaking into a large grin—“and for a third and final time,” he said, raising his gavel.

“Six thousand,” said Mrs. Trentham clearly, while at the same time waving her hand. A gasp went up around the room: Becky removed her glasses with a sigh, realizing that her carefully worked-out ploy had failed even though Mrs. Trentham had been made to pay triple the price any shop in the Terrace had fetched in the past.

The auctioneer’s eyes returned to the back of the room but the glasses were now clasped firmly in Becky’s hand, so he transferred his gaze back to Mrs. Trentham, who sat bolt upright, a smile of satisfaction on her face.

“At six thousand for the first time,” said the auctioneer, his eyes searching the room. “Six thousand for the second time then, if there are no more bids, it’s six thousand for the last time…” Once again the gavel was raised.

“Seven thousand pounds,” said a voice from the back of the room. Everyone turned to see that Charlie had returned and was now standing in the aisle, his right hand high in the air.

The colonel looked round, and when he saw who the new bidder was he began to perspire, something he didn’t like to do in public. He removed a handkerchief from his top pocket and mopped his brow.

“I have a bid of seven thousand pounds,” said a surprised Mr. Fothergill.

“Eight thousand,” said Mrs. Trentham, staring straight at Charlie belligerently.

“Nine thousand,” barked back Charlie.

The chatter in the room quickly turned into a babble. Becky wanted to jump up and push her husband back out into the street.

“Quiet, please,” said Mr. Fothergill. “Quiet!” he pleaded, almost shouting. The colonel was still mop

ping his brow, Mr. Crowther’s mouth was open wide enough to have caught any passing fly and Mr. Hadlow’s head was firmly buried in his hands.

“Ten thousand,” said Mrs. Trentham who, Becky could see, was, like Charlie, now totally out of control.

The auctioneer asked, “Do I see eleven thousand?”

Charlie had a worried look on his face but he simply wrinkled his brow, shook his head and placed his hands back in his pocket.

Becky sighed with relief and, unclasping her hands, nervously put her glasses back on.

“Eleven thousand,” said Mr. Fothergill, looking towards Becky, while pandemonium broke out once again as she rose to protest, having quickly removed her glasses. Charlie looked totally bemused.

Mrs. Trentham’s eyes had now come to rest on Becky, whom she had finally located. With a smile of satisfaction Mrs. Trentham declared, “Twelve thousand pounds.”

The auctioneer looked back towards Becky, who had placed her glasses in her bag and closed the catch with a snap. He glanced towards Charlie, whose hands remained firmly in his pockets.

“The bid is at the front of the room at twelve thousand pounds. Is anyone else bidding?” asked the auctioneer. Once again his eyes darted from Becky to Charlie before returning to Mrs. Trentham. “Then at twelve thousand for the first time”—he looked around once more—“for the second time, for the third and final time…” His gavel came down with a thud. “I declare the property sold for twelve thousand pounds to Mrs. Gerald Trentham.”

Becky ran towards the door, but Charlie was already out on the pavement.

“What were you playing at, Charlie?” she demanded even before she caught up with him.

“I knew she would bid up to ten thousand pounds,” said Charlie, “because that’s the amount she still has on deposit at her bank.”