Deal Makers (Dealing with Love 3)

We all sit down and my mom begins the rotation of serving dishes, completely oblivious to the tension in the room. Pleasantries are exchanged while we eat, occasionally fielding questions from my parents, and ignoring a few lewd gestures from my grandmother. Our meal goes off without a hitch for the most part, which to be frank, is shocking.

Rainey clears her throat. “Thank you for inviting us. The food was really great.”

My mom smiles at her. “Oh dear, you’re always welcome; no invitation necessary. Usually Carlotta is the only one who joins us but we do this every Sunday.” After everyone’s empty plates are stacked at the end of the table, she claps her hands together. “So, anything else new and exciting you’d like to share?”

Brody, Rainey, Drew, and I suddenly find the tablecloth fascinating, raising her suspicions.

She narrows her eyes. “All right, what’s going on?”

Shit.

“Nothing,” I say breezily. “What makes you think something’s going on? Rainey’s right; the food was delish.”

I can feel the heat of her stare but I fight the urge to flee.

My nonna cackles. “Oh boy, who stepped in it? Brody?”

“What?” Brody sputters. “Why do you automatically assume it’s me?”

She gives him a look that says, do I really need to answer that?

Rainey smirks. “He’s getting better. He only acts like an idiot maybe seven times a day now.”

Brody scoffs. “Oh,

I don’t know. I can think of something Charlee’s done recently that was really dumb.”

Aaand let the shitshow commence, ladies and gentlemen.

I glare at him. “Grow up, Brody.”

“What’s he talking about, Carlotta?” my mom asks.

Brody returns my glare. “Yeah, Charlee, why don’t you tell Mom about your Vegas escapades?”

“Dude, knock it off,” Drew says quietly.

“Fuck off,” Brody fires back, not so quietly.

“Whoa!” My dad bangs his fist on the table. “What the hell is going on right now? I could’ve sworn we’re all adults here, but you two are acting like bratty teenagers.” He levels Brody and me with a look that says he means business. “Brody, I thought Drew was your closest friend. Why are you treating him like the enemy?”

Brody sits back in his chair and grunts. “That was before he thought it was a good idea to get tanked and marry Charlee in Vegas. And then hide it from me for weeks.”

My mom gasps. “What? Is this true?”

My grandma rubs her hands together. “Ooh, this is better than watching Maury!”

Drew grabs my hand under the table, probably sensing how badly I want to throttle my brother right now. “Yes, ma’am.” He briefly glances at Brody. “But our relationship is real.” He smiles at me. “Your daughter is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

My mom presses her open hand over her chest. “Aw, such sweet boy.”

“Seriously?!” Brody shouts. “That’s it? They got drunk and married behind everyone’s backs! They deserve way more shit than that.”

“Brody, calm down,” Rainey insists.

My mom glares at him. “B.J., remove the stick from your behind. And watch your language in my house. What they did isn’t ideal, but anyone with eyes can see they’re good for each other. If you ask me, they should’ve done this a long time ago. Maybe I’d have some beautiful grandchildren to spoil by now.”

Thanks, Mom. I couldn’t have asked for a better segue.