Beauty in the Ashes

I sat on the ledge for hours.

For the first time in years, I wasn’t thinking about my next hit or how much I could drink before I passed out. It was a peaceful feeling, but one I knew wouldn’t last. I had to bask in it while I could.

???

Sutton

I should’ve been sleeping.

I couldn’t.

That wasn’t anything new, but there was something different about it this time. It wasn’t the typical feelings of insomnia—so tired but unable to fall asleep.

No, my current lack of restlessness could be described in three words.

Caelan Fucking Gregory.

I kept replaying what had transpired between us.

His hands had felt good on me—too good, actually.

Our chemistry was explosive and undeniable. A dangerous and toxic combination. His reaction had proven that I needed to stay away.

I never did what was good for me, though. The things I’d been through in my life had turned me into a masochist and I always came back for more. Hurting, whether the pain was physical or emotional, I thrived on it. I was as sick as Caelan, but in a different way.

We were two broken souls, desperately trying to put ourselves back together.

But not everything could be fixed.

???

“Are you okay?” Daphne’s voice broke through my thoughts.

I shook my head, jolting myself back to reality. We were at the same restaurant we’d had lunch at before. I swirled a fry in ketchup before forcing myself to nibble on it.

I wore a floppy black hat on my head to block the sun. It also provided excellent coverage from Daphne’s curious gaze.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t get a lot of sleep.” More like none at all. After lying in bed for hours, unable to fall asleep, I’d gotten out of bed and showered. Then I asked Daphne to lunch, which turned out to be a very bad idea.

“Is this about Callie?”

“Who?” I finally looked up at her.

“I thought that would get your attention,” she smirked. “Callie, Cael, Caelan, Gregory, whatever you want to call him,” she winked, taking a sip of wine, despite the fact that it was the afternoon and hardly an appropriate beverage to have at this time. She propped her elbow on the table and her head on her hand. “I assume something happened with him to make you so mopey. You’re not normally like this.”

I narrowed my eyes. I was never rainbows and sunshine, so what the fuck did she mean I wasn’t normally like this?

As I stared her down she started to squirm. “Okay!” She surrendered, throwing her hands in the air. “It sounded like he was throwing stuff in his apartment, which is normal, but then we heard his door open and close while the banging was still happening. That’s not normal.” Chewing on her lip, and looking around, she added, “So I kind of opened the door and caught you going home.”

Shit.

I was caught now. I couldn’t lie.

“Caelan doesn’t sleep with anyone that lives here,” she eyed me with a deadly gaze, but I refused to wither, “Lord knows I’ve tried to get that man to do me. He might be fucking crazy, but he’s hot as hell, and I’d love to know what he’s hiding under all those dirty paint stained jeans. So spill, girl,” she leaned forward, trying to create a bubble around us.

“There’s nothing to tell,” I insisted, lowering my sunglasses to hide my eyes.

“You slut!” She cried, causing heads to turn our way and more than one man to take notice. Look the other way fellas, these goods were not for sale. “You can’t fuck the resident bad boy and not give your best friend the details! I need to know!”