Beauty in the Ashes

Staring in to my eyes, he said, “Before we do this, I need you to promise me something.” He shuddered, like it killed him to hold himself back from taking what he wanted and thrusting inside me.

“Anything,” I breathed. At that point I would’ve cut myself and signed my name in blood. I wanted him inside me now.

“Whatever you do, don’t fall in love with me.”

That was an easy enough promise for me to make. I lost the capability to love a long time ago. I focused on the beautifully broken man in front of me.

“Promise.”

Without another word, he slammed inside me.

My nails dug into his back, my mouth falling open as I cried, “Oh my God.” It had been way too long since I’d had sex and my body was unaccustomed to the feeling.

Caelan didn’t wait for me to adjust, which I didn’t expect him to.

The pain gave me as much of a high as the sex did.

His forehead pressed against mine and he stared into my eyes in a surprisingly intimate gesture that I hadn’t expected from him. I let my walls fall away so he saw what I kept hidden. He’d know that I was like him. The same, but different. I might not have had a substance abuse problem like he did, but my addictions were just as dangerous.

I was addicted to bad men, and Caelan was the worst of them all.

He was a drought, sucking the life from everything around him, and I was willing to let him take my very essence.

I never claimed to be very smart, but smarts ultimately had nothing to do with it. Life had fucked me over real good and turned me into the kind of woman who thrived off being hurt. I was the person others looked down upon and hated, because I wasn’t normal.

I craved things that hurt me.

It was sick and twisted, but for me, it was an undeniable desire that had to be sated.

I scratched my nails into his back, my pleasure doubling as he hissed from the sting. There was surprise in his eyes when he looked at me.

He kissed the skin below my ear, then bit it, and finally his tongue flicked out to soothe the wound.

He repeated the motion over different parts of my body.

I loved every second of it.

His thrusts quickened and my fingers dug into his arms, urging him on.

Oh God, I needed this.

We’d been dancing around this for weeks and now that we had finally connected, it was so worth the wait.

“Harder,” I pleaded. “I’m not going to break.”

He was more than happy to oblige.

He fed the monster inside me, the one that wanted to be punished.

I wasn’t into anything hardcore, but I needed sex to be rough. Any other way and I was lost, not knowing how to function.

An orgasm tore through me and I shook all over from the force of it. I had never experienced anything as powerful as that in all my life. From the look Caelan gave me, he was well aware.

My hands braced against his shoulders, and sensing what I was about to do, he grabbed them and pinned them above my head.

“No,” he growled, his hold tight and his glare withering.

I let him take control, but my stare was defiant. I wanted him to know that I wouldn’t always let him have his way. I wiggled my fingers and smirked as his hold tightened.