I didn’t like being alone.
When I was alone, my thoughts wandered far too much. The bad things became real again. It hadn’t been my brightest idea to move so far away from my home, from my life. But that life had been a lie. Nothing about it was real. While my family and the friends I’d grown up with lived in Dallas I was really more alone there than I was now.
Sitting on the counter sipping the scalding black coffee, I realized that while I wasn’t happy, I was far better off now than I had been.
Healing was a slow process, and while I hadn’t quite begun, I was almost there.
I sipped on my coffee, letting my thoughts carry me away. When the coffee was gone, I set the cup in the sink.
Like a small child, I kicked my legs against the cabinets.
I was bored and Caelan had been MIA for twelve hours now. I knew he was holed up in his apartment working, he’d told me such when he kicked me out. I didn’t want him to think that now that we were sleeping together that he held some kind of power over me. So, I reached for my iPod, hooked it up to the speaker and scrolled through my songs. I finally settled on one, turned the volume all the way up, and pressed play.
I couldn’t wipe the evil grin off my face when only seconds later there was a knock on the door.
As I hopped off the counter and strode across the room, I couldn’t ignore the rush zinging through my veins.
When I opened the door, he stood there with his arms crossed over his chest in a sleeveless shirt and jeans. His lips were turned up in amusement. He didn’t appear to be angry, almost like he’d been expecting me to do this.
“You know,” he swirled a finger in the air, “if you wanted me to come over, all you had to do was ask.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he added, “Although, you do seem to love making a lot of noise to get my attention.”
With a laugh, I grabbed ahold of his shirt and yanked him inside. The door closed with a slam. “I want to make even more noise,” I whispered, my lips brushing against his collarbone. Standing on my tiptoes so I could reach his ear, I continued, “And I need your help to make this noise.”
“Is that so?” He chuckled, his fingers digging into my hips.
“Mhmm,” I kissed his neck.
“I guess I could take a break.”
“You can most definitely take a break,” I assured him, unzipping his jeans.
“Eager, are we?” He grabbed ahold of my arms and pulled them away.
I pouted in frustration. “Always.”
“You know,” he eased my shirt up and my eyes fluttered closed as his fingers grazed my bare stomach, “I haven’t ever had sex with the same woman as much as I have with you.”
My eyes came open and I smirked. “Mr. Gregory, should I be honored?”
“Absolutely,” he winked and I was surprised that he’d just cracked a joke. I didn’t know he had it in him.
I lifted my arms and he completely removed the top, his eyes perusing my body.
I couldn’t control the shiver that ran down my spine at the look he gave me—like I was the most delicious dessert he’d ever seen laid before him and he was starved.
His fingers brushed lightly down the curve of my jaw. My lips parted as a breathy sigh escaped me. I cherished every moment he touched me, because a part of me feared it might be the last. “You’re different.”
He was right. I was different, but he had no clue how true that statement was.
I’d already shown him too much—my inner pain and suffering—and I had no plan to open up anymore.
Secrets were kept quiet for a reason. They had the power to destroy worlds.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. In part, to keep him quiet, and because the man was the best kisser I’d ever had the pleasure of locking lips with.
He backed towards the bed and I went with him.
He sank down on its surface with me straddling him. This was the first time I’d had him in my bed. It excited me, like having him here cemented whatever this fucked up arrangement of ours was.