When I eased inside her, she gasped my name and satisfaction filled my body. Her lips were made to say my name and my ears were made to hear it.
I kissed her, pouring every ounce of passion in my body into it. I needed her to know that I cared—maybe even too much. I didn’t know where this was headed, but life doesn’t come with a map, and after all, isn’t it the bumps along the way that make it all worthwhile?
As our bodies melded together, the love we were scared to share with anyone else created an impenetrable bond, blocking the world around us.
Sutton Hale had irrevocably changed me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hoped one day I could find the proper way to thank her. For now, this was enough.
CHAPTER 18
Sutton
“I want to get a tattoo.”
I don’t know what made the words tumble from my mouth, but they felt right.
Caelan blinked his sleepy eyes open¸ yawned, and stretched his arms above his head.
“Are you dreaming? Or are you serious?”
I rolled my eyes and let out a laugh. Lightly punching his shoulder, I said, “I’m serious.” I propped my head on my hand and faced him. “Where’d you get your ink?” I nodded towards the script adorning his ribs.
“A place in town.”
“Annnnd,” I scooted closer, “I was wondering…” I paused, hoping this wasn’t forbidden territory I was about to enter.
“You were wondering?” He prompted, swishing his hand through the air.
“What’s the poem from?”
He swallowed thickly, rolling on his back to stare at the wooden boards crisscrossing the ceiling. “My mom wrote it.”
“She did?” I gasped.
He nodded, still refusing to look at me. He was lost in another place and time.
“She was a very creative person, as you know from what I said previously, but she wrote poems for fun. I never knew about it, not until…not until she was dead. My grandparents found the book when they packed up my stuff and gave it to me. When I read it, this one stuck out to me. I knew I wanted to make it a permanent part of me.” He finally flicked his gaze to me and smiled sheepishly. “I got the tattoo the day after their funeral. I guess you could say it was the start of my rebel ways. My grandma just about had a heart attack the first time she saw it.”
“Well, I think it’s beautiful, and the meaning behind it makes it even more special.” I reached my hand out, tracing a fingernail over the elegant script.
“Yeah,” he sighed loudly, his chest rising with a shaky breath. “It’s a good reminder,” he rolled over onto his side to face me. “We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, life can end at any moment and we need to cherish each moment we have.” Rubbing his hand over the tattoo, he said, “Every time I look at this I can’t help but wonder if she had some premonition that it was going to happen.” He let out a nervous laugh and said, “This poem…it was dated the night they were murdered.”
I reached for his hand, entwining our fingers together. Remembering that the information on the website had said that the murderer had never been found I ventured to ask him about it. I really hoped my question wouldn’t upset him, though. The last thing I wanted to do was cause him pain. “I…uh…remember seeing that their murderer was never found.”
His lips twitched in a smile that was anything but happy and shook his head. “Nope. Never found the guy. The police had a few suspects, myself included,” he tapped his chest. “But there was never enough evidence to make a definitive case against anybody.”
“Do you…” I paused, nervously biting my lip, not sure if I should go there. “Do you think you know who did it?”
“I have an idea,” he admitted. “My dad had fired a guy for stealing from the job site at the construction company he owned. The guy…he didn’t take it well. I remember overhearing my parents talking about it. My dad told my mom that the man showed up and basically assaulted him.” Tears pr
icked my eyes and my heart ached for Caelan and the amount of torment he had to live with. It was plain for me to see that his pain was even greater than mine. “And if it was that guy, he’s out in the world with his freedom intact. Even if it wasn’t him, there’s someone out there that killed them and they don’t have to deal with the fucking consequences. It tears me up inside. Someone should be punished for this. And now, this many years later…people don’t care anymore. It’s old news. It doesn’t matter to them, because it isn’t their family. They don’t have to walk down the fucking street and wonder if each person they pass knows something or did it!” He jumped from the bed, tearing at his hair. “I-I need a minute.” He padded into the bathroom and closed the door. A second later I heard him let out a heart-wrenching sob. My stomach clenched and I bit down on my fist to block my own cries. My heart constantly broke for Caelan. I didn’t want him to live with this pain anymore, but I didn’t know how to help him break free.
I chose to leave him alone, knowing the last thing he needed right now was for me to push him.
I grabbed up Brutus and headed back to my own apartment.
I showered and changed into clean clothes. I braided my hair to the side and set about making my necessary cup of black coffee.
I was about to take a sip of the steaming liquid when someone pounded on the door. I let out a sigh, having a pretty good idea who it was.