Beauty in the Ashes

“You didn’t think I’d let the place rot, did you?” Kyle asked.

“You did this?” I asked.

He nodded. “I knew one day you’d come back, and I didn’t want it to be any harder on you than it needed to be. I thought if I kept things up...maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad.”

I sighed, squinting my eyes from the reflection of the sun. “You’re a far better friend than I deserve.”

He chuckled, scratching his jaw. “Let’s just say, you owe me a lot.”

“I know.”

“I didn’t have a key though, so…”

He didn’t need to finish his sentence. I understood. I needed to be prepared for the worst.

I forced one foot in front of the other. Even though the front door couldn’t be more than twenty feet from where I stood, it seemed like twenty miles. I thought I’d never make it there.

Sutton stood off to the side. Her being there meant a lot to me. I might not have shown it, because I was under so much stress, but I knew I couldn’t have done this without her.

I stopped at the door.

I ran my fingers along the wood, my touch lingered over a small slip of tape still stuck there—the tape that had once labeled this a crime scene.

I leaned my head against the door.

A crime scene.

That’s what this was.

I had to keep reminding myself of that.

“Caelan,” Sutton whispered my name a moment before I felt her hand touch my back, “it’s going to be okay. You can do this. I know you can.”

I swallowed thickly. “I’m scared.”

I was so overwhelmingly afraid of what my reaction might be the moment I opened the door. I had no idea what to expect. I feared that the house would still be in disarray and that their blood would still stain the upstairs. But I also feared that everything would be clean and perfectly in place. Which was worse? I wasn’t sure, and I wouldn’t know unt

il I opened the door.

I dug in my pocket for the key. When I found it, I handed it to Sutton. She closed her hand around it so that it didn’t drop.

“You do it,” I breathed. “I can’t.”

She nodded, slipping in front of me. I stepped back to allow her room.

“We’re here for you,” Kyle said from beside me. “Remember to breathe.”

That was easier said than done.

The lock clicked, but Sutton didn’t open the door.

She looked over her shoulder at me, her eyes sad. “Are you ready?”

No. “Yes,” I said instead.

Her hand wrapped around the knob, twisting it. The door swung open and I froze.

She turned around, and upon seeing me immobile she reached her hand out for mine. I reluctantly placed my hand in hers. “It’s okay.”