I hated that my mind automatically went to Memphis.
“No,” I lied. “Caelan’s it. I love him. Things might be hard for us, but it’s worth it. He’s worth it.”
She shook her head, looking at me like she thought I was incredibly dumb. Maybe I was.
“Do you really believe that?” She asked. Then, not waiting for me to reply, she shook her head and said, “Never mind. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to make you mad at me. Let’s talk about something else…hmmm…how’s work?”
I laughed at her ridiculous change in subject. “It’s work. What do you expect?”
Looking over her shoulder at Emery, where he lounged against the counter, she grinned. “At least you have nice things to look at.”
I snorted. “Only I’m not looking.”
“’Tis a shame.” Biting her lip, she studied Emery. “He has such a nice ass.”
Laughter bubbled out of my throat. “I can’t believe you just said that.”
“What? I might not say the things you do, but it doesn’t mean I don’t think them.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked you so much,” I smiled.
She suddenly frowned. “I am sorry for what I said about you and Caelan. I shouldn’t—”
I raised a hand
, silencing anything that might have further escaped her lips. “Don’t apologize when you don’t really mean it.” My words weren’t harsh, but it was the truth. I hated when people said they were sorry and they really weren’t. Own what you say.
She sighed and picked up the coffee mug, emptying the last of the contents. “You’re right.”
“Aren’t I always?” I smirked.
“Oh, Sutton,” she rolled her eyes. “You know, I’ve never quite had a friend like you before.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I inquired.
“I think it’s a good thing. You speak your mind and you don’t care what other people think. It’s refreshing. I wish more people were like that.”
I frowned. She didn’t know the half of it. I might act like I didn’t care—keyword being, act—but inside I was as lost and scared as everyone else. Pretending I had some control over my life gave me peace of mind, but it wasn’t the truth. I’d lost all control a long time ago.
“I really admire you,” she continued.
She admired me? Me? I had done nothing worthy, but fake it till I made it. I’d rather plaster a smile on my face than wallow in the self-pity I felt on the inside. I didn’t see how that made me admirable.
“Trust me,” I glared down at the table, “I’m no one you should admire. I’m not perfect.”
“No one’s perfect,” she laughed.
“That’s true,” I agreed. Finishing my muffin and coffee, I stood. “My break’s over. I better get back.”
“Oh,” she shook her head, her red curls bouncing around her shoulders. “Of course. I forgot you were working,” she giggled. “I’ll see you later then.”
I watched her gather up her stuff and leave, a frown turning down my lips. I liked Daphne, a lot, and I did consider her a friend but this conversation only served to remind me how much she didn’t know about me. I knew I didn’t need to share everything with her, but it seemed like if we were to be friends I should open up more. I didn’t know if I could. Letting someone see your vulnerabilities was a difficult thing. I mean, I’d managed to do it with Caelan, but he was…Caelan. He was like me. He’d been hurt. He understood how the tortures of your past could change you. I wasn’t sure Daphne would, and I couldn’t handle it if I told her and like my parent’s and Brandon, she acted as if I was disgusting and wrong and that…and that it was my fault.
No one asks to be hurt, so why does society always want to blame the victim?
“Earth to Sutton,” Emery snapped his fingers in front of my face.
“Huh?”