Lovely.
I was the resident basket case that might try to hang herself with the IV wires.
“Get lots of rest,” the nurse warned as she helped me into a wheelchair. I didn’t need it, but apparently it was protocol.
“I will,” I promised her. I was too weak to do much of anything so rest wouldn’t be a problem. As she started down the hallway I cleared my throat. “Can I see him?”
She knew the him I was referring to. I’d asked about him many times in the last few days. I needed to apologize to him.
“I’m not supposed to,” she whispered.
“Please?” I begged. I couldn’t go home without seeing him.
She sighed and turned down a hallway. “I could get in trouble for this,” she grumbled.
“Thank you!”
“Shh!” She hushed me. “I can only give you ten minutes. That’s it.”
I’d take any time she’d give me with him.
I didn’t reply. My throat was still raw and I needed to save my voice for when I saw Caelan.
“He just got moved from the ICU or else I couldn’t do this,” she said.
She wheeled me into a room and only a curtain separated me from him.
“Ten minutes,” she warned again, holding up both hands and waggling her fingers.
The door closed behind her and I heard stirring on the other side of the curtain. I reached up, clasping the flimsy blue material in my hand and pulled it aside.
“Hi,” I whispered.
Caelan stirred, turning his head towards the sound of my voice. He blinked rapidly like he couldn’t believe his eyes. “Hey,” he smiled weakly.
We both acted as if we were war battered. Maybe we were—it was just a different kind of war, one of the heart and mind.
“I’m so sorry,” I choked out the words. I meant them and I hoped he saw that.
“It’s okay.” He reached out with a shaky hand to gently touch his fingers to my cheek.
“No, it’s not,” I shook my head adamantly. “I shouldn’t have done that. It was a moment of weakness.”
“I’m not mad,” he whispered. Those same fingers touched my lips. It was like he was reminding himself that I was alive. I couldn’t imagine how he must have felt seeing me like that after what he’d already gone through with his family.
“I was so selfish,” I sobbed. “I didn’t think about what it would do to you. What did you do?” No one had given me any details about how or why Caelan had ended up here, but I had a good guess.
He looked away from me and his Adam’s apple bobbed. His head swiveled back to face me. “I wasn’t going to let you go without me.”
“Oh, Caelan.” I buried my face in my hands. I was so ashamed of my actions and what had transpired because of them.
“I need to talk to you about something,” he said, swallowing thickly. His eyes glimmered with tears and I knew something I didn’t want to hear was about to come out of his mouth. “I know you’re not going to like this, but it’s for the best.”
“W-what is?” I asked.
He took a deep breath, the air entering his lungs with a mighty whoosh.
“They’re forcing me to enter rehab once I’m well enough. They said I’d probably leave in the next week or so. I had already decided to go to rehab on my own, once I woke up. I need help, Sutton. Real help.” He stopped to cough. “I wanted to deny that I had any real addiction before, choosing to sweep it under the rug like it was nothing. I want to get clean for myself. I have to before I throw it all away for…”