Beauty in the Ashes

I sat for a few more minutes before I gathered to my feet. Dusting the grass from my jeans, I murmured, “I guess this is goodbye for now. I’ll visit again, but it’ll probably be a while. I’m sorry for that, but I think I’ll heal faster if I stay away. I love you guys.”

I kissed my fingers and touched them gently to each gravestone.

I strode out of the cemetery as a feeling of peace settled around me.

I found Leah sitting in her car. She rolled the window down when I approached. “Lunch is on me, but do you mind giving me a ride? I don’t have a car,” I admitted.

I was a bit embarrassed by that fact but she smiled like it didn’t matter. “That’s fine,” she replied.

I settled into the passenger seat and told her to pick the place. We ended up at a local Italian restaurant a few miles away. I held the door open for her as we walked inside. The hostess led us to a booth in the back and I was glad that we were relatively alone. I was looking forward to catching up with her. For once, I wasn’t scared of being reminded of what happened. I was ready to embrace it as part of my life.

“So,” I said as the waitress sat down glasses of soda, “what have you been doing since graduation?”

“Well,” she smiled as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear, “I went to college and got a degree in social services.”

“Really?” My brows rose in surprise.

“I know it’s not very glamorous,” she chuckled as she brought the glass to her mouth. I had to force myself to look away from the delectable sight of her lips wrapped around the straw. “But I wanted to help kids.”

“I think that’s pretty admirable,” I noted. My fingers tapped nervously against the top of the table and I couldn’t seem to make them stop. “So, you like it?”

“I love it.” Her smile widened and there was a sparkle in her green eyes. “It’s a hard job, I’m not going to lie about that, but it’s also extremely rewarding. When a kid smiles at me for making things better for them…” She trailed off, a nostalgic smile playing on her lips. “It’s nice,” she finished.

“I’m sure it is,” I agreed.

“What are you up to?” She asked. Bowing her head, she let out an nervous laugh. “Besides the obvious of course.”

“And by obvious you mean…rehab?” I knew that’s what she meant, but I liked watching her squirm. While there had been some fear when she first saw me, that was all gone now. She wasn’t as sassy as I remembered from high school, but I figured that had to do with nerves. It had to have been a shock to see me.

“Yes,” she squeaked.

I took a sip of soda, making her sweat it a bit longer. “I’m not really doing anything right now. I moved in with Kyle and I haven’t gotten a job yet. I’m hoping to move out of his place in a month or so, but I really want to open my own art gallery.” I launched into everything I wanted to do with it

and her eyes widened. Her mouth parted in shock too. Was it really so surprising that the addict might have dreams and aspirations too?

“Wow,” she gasped when I was finished, “I think that’s a great idea, Cael. It would give you something to focus on, but you love it so it wouldn’t feel like work.”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

Our food came and conversation lulled for a bit. When the waitress returned to take away our empty dishes, she asked if we’d like some dessert. I looked to Leah for an answer.

“Yes, please,” she smiled, and I noticed how she lit up the room when she did, “tiramisu.”

“Great choice,” the waitress chimed. “It’s made fresh daily. Would you like any coffee to go with it?”

“No, thank you,” Leah replied. Turning to me, she admitted with a wry smile, “I know it’s a bit early for dessert, but I can’t resist. I have quite the sweet tooth.”

“Dessert is a very important food group,” I quipped.

The waitress set the plate of tiramisu on the table with two spoons. I didn’t want any, so I pushed the plate over to Leah’s side of the table.

“Please, you have to eat some,” she begged. “Don’t make me feel like a pig.”

I chuckled and lifted a finger. “One bite, but that’s it. I don’t really like coffee flavored things.”

“How is that possible?” She gasped. “Coffee is delicious.”

I couldn’t help but think of Sutton with her words, but I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I was sitting here with Leah and she deserved my undivided attention.