She takes it and soon the vehicle is filled with something that smells vaguely of grass and it grows foggy inside when she exhales some smoke.
“Where’s this party exactly?”
“It’s this old abandoned farm out on Todd Hilton’s family’s property,” Ansel explains, turning into the street. The red of the stoplight reflects into the car, bathing him in an eerie glow.
“You do realize I have no idea who that is, right?”
Ansel chuckles, turning left when the light changes. “He’s on the football team. Don’t ask me what position he plays. I don’t pay attention to that shit.”
I laugh, looking out the window at the passing buildings. “Wasn’t going to. I don’t care.”
Fifteen or so minutes later he turns onto a dirt road. Five more after that and he parks in a field with
a bunch of other cars. We get out and walk toward the barn. There are lights strung through the inside that reflect out here and there’s a bonfire and keg to the right of it. As we walk toward the bigger crowd people continually stop Ansel to score a deal. It’s amusing, but still surprises me because Ansel doesn’t strike me as the drug dealer type. Sure, he’s not selling the hard stuff like cocaine or meth, but that doesn’t change the facts of what he is.
Sasha shrieks and runs off to mingle with some of her tennis buddies. I stay by Ansel’s side and he pours me some beer from the keg, passing me the red Solo cup. So typical.
Ansel bumps fists with some guys and I hang back, not quite comfortable. I went to a couple parties back … well, before, but they’ve never really been my thing.
I suppose I’ve only gone, even now, in an effort to fit in. I feel even less a part of things now. All of this, it’s so simple and what’s expected, but I’ve seen the hard facts of life and now this seems dumb and a waste of time.
Ansel introduces me to people as we move along. I promptly forget all their names. Not on purpose, but because the minute I’m hearing it from one, another person is greeting me.
“Do all these people go to our school?” I hiss to Ansel under my breath. I know our school is big, but this seems like an awful lot of people to be at a party for it to only be our school.
He laughs, pocketing more cash. He’s bound to have made at least a grand in the short time we’ve been here. “Nah, a lot of the other nearby schools show up here too.”
“I’m sorry for just hanging around you.” I take a sip of warm, stale beer.
Ansel’s pale blue eyes sear into me and I stop walking. “You don’t have to apologize for wanting to be near me, Meadows.” He cracks a grin and I laugh. “I’m fucking awesome.” He sobers and clears his throat. “Seriously, you’re my friend, so don’t say you’re sorry. Friends hang out together.”
“I … I feel like I’m in your way.” I duck my head when I admit it out loud. It sounds silly once the words are out there.
“Definitely not.” He tosses an arm around my shoulders. “Come on, Meadows, let’s have some fun.”
It’s a couple hours before we load up and leave the party. Sasha catches a ride with some of her other friends, so it’s only Ansel and me.
“Did you have fun?” he asks, maneuvering his car out around all the other parked vehicles.
“Actually, I did.” Ansel ended up pulling me onto the makeshift dance floor inside the barn. Perspiration still clings to my skin from the sweat I worked up.
“Good.” He grins, driving down the dark dirt road.
“I’m tired, though,” I admit. “I might actually sleep tonight.” I barely utter the last part.
“Don’t sleep much?”
I shake my head before I realize he can’t see me. “No, not usually. Too much on my mind.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“That’s okay.”
The rest of the drive is quiet and I thank him for the ride as I head inside the building and up to the eleventh floor. Sage is wide-awake, sitting on the couch. A cooking show hums in the background, which makes me laugh.
“You didn’t have to wait up.” I close and lock the door behind me.