“What were you? I didn’t see you there.”
“Invisible.”
He says it so deadpan that I stare at him, waiting for the punch-line. When I don’t get one, I sit back in my chair, scrubbing my palms over my jeans. “Well, then.”
When the bell chimes, signaling the change of classes, I make a mad dash for Lachlan’s office. I’m unsure of what to expect when I see him after the way we left things Saturday morning, but I do know he’s my safe place and right now I need him.
Speed walking down the long tiled hallway I come to a sudden stop when I reach his closed door, a piece of paper taped to the outside.
In typed letters it says:
In a meeting until 3pm. Please see the office.
His signature is a scratchy thing at the bottom.
At first, I want to be mad because I needed to see him. Even if he said nothing to me I needed to be in the same room as him. Then, almost immediately after, I feel fear.
What if he’s in a meeting because of me? Could someone know I called him? That I was in his apartment?
It seems illogical, but when you’re doing something so immoral logic goes flying out the window.
I don’t want to go to the office.
Compelled by something I can’t quite understand, I pull a pen out of my bag and a draw a dandelion. It’s a pathetic sort of thing, basically the outline of one in bloom with a simple line coming out of it for the stem.
But he’ll know.
Capping the pen, I shove it in my pocket.
Since I refuse to go sit in the office for the next fifty minutes, I go ba
ck to the library and settle at a table there, working on homework. At least I’ll be ahead for the day.
Nervousness prickles at my brain, wondering what the meeting is about. I can’t seem to shake the feeling it’s about me.
I spend the rest of the day in a fog. I’m not surprised when the day ends and I get a text message from Sage.
Sage: Don’t let Ansel give you a ride home.
I can’t help but roll my eyes.
Me: Getting on the bus now.
He sends back a thumbs up as I sit down, leaning against one of the cold windows.
I hover over Lachlan’s contact, wanting to send him a message but knowing more than likely he won’t even answer which will only make me feel worse.
The bus drops me off and I walk down the street and into the building.
Once in the elevator I lean against the back wall of it and let out a pent up breath I feel like I’ve been holding most of the day. When the doors slide open I lower my head. Down the hall I go, letting myself into Sage’s condo.
Locking the door behind me, I go to my room, dropping my backpack on the floor. I kick my shoes off, flopping on my bed. I have no idea what to do with myself. My homework is done, I’m banned from doing anything with Ansel, and I finished the last book I borrowed from Lachlan.
I don’t do well with idle time. I never have. Whenever I used to feel this pent up restless energy I’d go for a run, but that’s not an option anymore. My legs are still screaming at me for what I put them through Friday night.
Getting up, I scour the refrigerator for anything that looks like it could be tossed together for a meal. Of course, there’s nothing. With a resigned sigh, I step back, placing my hands on my hips. It’ll be a few hours before Sage gets home.
In that time I might become certifiably insane.