Sweet Dandelion

“Do you live nearby?” Sage asks him as I die inside. For some reason I don’t want him to know Lachlan lives in his building. I mentioned I had a friend that lived in the building and I don’t want him to put two and two together.

As if sensing my thoughts, or probably reading the panic in my eyes, Lachlan clears his throat. “Yeah, not too far from here.”

“Cool.” Sage nods. “We’re on our way home from dinner. It was nice meeting you.”

“Mhmm, you too,” Lachlan hums, his gaze lingering on my bundled form.

“Come on,” Sage urges me forward, “I know you’re cold.” He tugs me to the building.

I look over my shoulder at Lachlan and Zeppelin. I thought he would’ve already started walking away by now, but he’s staring at me, his eyes narrowed, his expression tortured but thoughtful.

I’m not cold anymore.

Chapter Thirty-One

The pillow muffles my screams. I wake myself up with them, my face damp with tears. I roll over and sit up, the sheets pooling at my waist. Pushing my hair out of my eyes, I wipe my face with the back of my hands. I can barely catch my breath. I keep waiting to hear Sage’s footsteps, fearing I’ve woken him. It wouldn’t be the first time. But a minute passes, then two, and three before I collapse back down. The pillows seem to swallow my small body.

I glance to my side and the clock on my nightstand says it’s three in the morning.

I won’t go back to sleep.

Shoving the covers off, I climb out of bed, shoving my feet into my fluffy pair of black and gray slippers. Padding down the hall, I grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. I greedily slurp it down, the plastic crinkling in my hands.

I don’t know why I thought I could ignore this day, that maybe it would breeze on by and I wouldn’t even notice. But it’s like my body has sensed it coming. I rub the back of my neck. It’s sticky with sweat.

I’m a mess. I shove the almost empty water bottle back into the refrigerator. I intend to lay down on the couch and put the TV on, but that’s not what happens. Instead, my feet carry me out the door, down the hall and up the stairs. I don’t even bother with the elevator.

I hesitate for a second outside his door before I knock loudly with the heel of my palm. This is a bad idea all around. Things have been tense between us, but I need him. I need Lachlan to make the pain go away. I need him to hold me together, because I’m not strong enough to do it right now.

I don’t hear anything, and I begin to worry that maybe he’s out. Lachlan isn’t even thirty yet. He’s bound to have a social life, one that keeps him out, and with women. God, the thought of it alone makes a lump form in my throat which is pathetic. He’s my guidance counselor, he’s eleven years older than me. I can’t be having these feelings for him or feel jealous over some imaginary woman he may or may not be with.

Inside the apartment Zeppelin lets out a booming bark.

I keep knocking.

I nearly fall on my butt when the door is jerked open.

“Dani?” Lachlan looks at me through squinted eyes. His black hair sticks up adorably like rumpled feathers I instantly want to reach up and smooth down. My hand even twitches to do it, but I catch myself. “It’s early, why are you here?”

“I—”

Clarity enters his eyes behind his glasses, all traces of sleep disappearing. “You can’t be here,” he hisses.

“Please,” I beg, before he can slam the door in my face, not that I think he would, but the visual of it alone amps up my desperation. “I need…”

“You need what?” He doesn’t say it hatefully, but I flinch anyway.

I want to be strong enough not to need anything from him or anyone. But the fact is, I’m only one person and I can’t deal with all these emotions on my own. Besides, everyone should have somebody and for some stupid reason my heart has chosen Lachlan to trust and share my feelings with.

“I need you.” I finally push the words out of my mouth.

I stare at the hard planes of his bare chest, slowly skimming up his wide throat, stubbled jaw, and finally landing on those blue eyes that see too much.

He raises one arm to the doorframe, resting his head against it. He lets out a ragged breath. His whole body shudders with it.

“You can’t need me, Dani. You … can’t.”

I grip my hands to keep from reaching out and touching him. “But I do.”