Sweet Dandelion

“Dani … this … we…” He exhales a weighted breath looking pained. “Nothing can happen with us.”

Lachlan has never verbally said he returns my feelings, but he’s never denied anything either. He could tell me I’m crazy, that he’s over a decade older than me, but he does none of that because he feels it too. To deny it would be a crime.

“I know,” I whisper, tugging on my sleeves, “but when feelings exist they can’t be turned off with a switch. I can’t force myself to like him the way he wants me to.”

Lachlan stares at me, his eyes troubled. When he speaks again, it’s with two simple words.

“I’m sorry.”

The bell above Watchtower Coffee & Comics chimes merrily, signaling our arrival. The line is longer than normal, probably due to the impending storm and the arctic cold that cuts through all bundled layers.

Ansel and I get in li

ne, waiting our turn.

Instead of my usual Boba tea, I get a latte. Once we both have our orders we take a seat at one of the tables across from each other.

I pick the label adhered to the side of my cup, waiting for him to speak first.

“Look,” he finally speaks, leaning forward with his fingers wrapped around his coffee, “I fucked up and made things awkward. You’re … fuck, Meadows, you’ve become my best friend. I know you might not believe that, but you have. I don’t want to screw things up and ruin our friendship because of a silly crush.”

“Silly?” My tone is amused, my lips twitching with the threat of a smile.

He cracks a smile of his own, running his fingers through his unkempt hair. “Okay, maybe not silly, but still—your friendship means more to me. I’m a big boy, Meadows. I can handle rejection. You don’t like me in that way, it’s cool. I respect your boundaries.”

I loosen my fingers from around my cup. “Thank you. I … I’m sorry I made things awkward, but…” I bite my lip, not quite having the words. “I didn’t want to do anything you might take as me leading you on.”

He shakes his head. “Meadows, you said no. I understand what that word means and I would never disrespect you by thinking some innocent thing you do or say might mean more and trying to take advantage.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, tucking my hands under the table. “I wasn’t looking to make friends here, but then I met you and you’re my best friend. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” I duck my head, voice soft.

He reaches across the table, tapping his index finger beneath my chin so I’ll lift my head. “You’re my best friend, that’s all that matters.”

He smiles at me and I smile back. Something shifts, and the axis of the world feels righted once more.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Standing in front of the large windows in the living room of the condo I look out at the snow falling in a thick white curtain. I can’t even see the building across the street. Everything is blinded by whiteness.

The news plays in the background, talking about the expected accumulation and the threat of power outages.

I bite my lip with worry since Sage isn’t home yet.

Turning from the window, I swipe my phone off the coffee table and call him. No answer.

Me: Are you on your way home?

His reply comes a few minutes later.

Sage: I can’t leave yet. Sry.

Me: The weather is getting really bad.

Sage: I know. But the boss won’t let us go until this is done.

Me: Be careful.

Sage: Always.