Seth nods his head at my barely touched plate. “You said maybe she was really hungry. She hasn’t eaten.”
“Something wrong, Meadows?”
I shake my head. “I’m fine.”
Sasha narrows her eyes on me. It’s obvious to her that I shut down after she saw the text on my phone. I want to be mad at her for snooping, but it’s my fault for leaving my phone in the room to be
gin with.
“Tired from today, I think.” I push my food around some more. “I could be coming down with something.”
“I’ll grab the checks and we can go,” Ansel replies. All their plates are already empty.
“I wanted dessert.” Sasha pouts.
“Then get it to-go,” he tells her.
The two of them head off in search of our waitress.
Seth returns to his normal silence.
It’s another twenty or so minutes before all our checks are paid and Sasha has her dessert. The drive back to the hotel is another ten minutes.
Sasha and I enter the room and I quickly grab my pajamas, locking myself in the bathroom before she can start in, but I know I can’t avoid her forever.
When I exit the bathroom, she’s already waiting her turn.
Climbing into bed, I turn off the lights and roll over.
I haven’t responded to Lachlan. I can’t. I hope he doesn’t take it personally, but I can’t risk Sasha possibly seeing any further exchange.
Sasha leaves the bathroom a little while later and I’m not asleep like I wanted to be. I keep my eyes closed though, my breaths even.
Her steps are light across the carpeted floor. A moment later there’s the swoosh of the covers being turned back and the mattress squeaks when she sinks down on it.
A minute passes before she speaks, “I know you’re awake, Dani.” I stiffen, still facing the wall with my back to her bed. “If you don’t want to tell me about your boyfriend or whatever, it’s cool. We all have our secrets.”
Her last sentence feels like a pickaxe slammed right into my chest.
I feel like I have so many secrets. They’re piling up one on top of the other.
It’s wrong that Sasha is my friend and there are so many things she doesn’t know about me, because I haven’t wanted to share them. It’s not a reflection of her, but of me, that I want to hold these things so close to myself instead of being open and honest.
I roll over and find that she’s on her side facing me. Her blonde hair seems to glow within the dark room.
“I don’t want to talk about the text, it’s complicated, but … there are things I haven’t told you that I should. I’ve been a really crappy friend to you.”
“That’s not true—”
I continue like she hasn’t spoken. “I should’ve told you this a long time ago, but I wasn’t ready, I probably shouldn’t have hidden it at all, but it’s complicated.”
“You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to. I mean, I’m nosy as fuck so of course I want to know, but I’m not going to shun you for not sharing things with me.”
“No,” I shake my head, “it’s time.”
Sasha waits patiently through the minutes it takes me to find what to say.
When I do, the words pour out of me.