“With him?” His body stiffens as he asks the question.
“Yes, but he left. I’m so angry,” my voice cracks, “he left me. Like mom and dad left us—only they didn’t choose to leave and he did.”
“If I ever see him I’m going to kill him,” Sage vows. “He should’ve never touched you. Is he the reason you want to leave so badly?”
I shake my head. “I mean, I guess he’s part of it, but not entirely. I’ve always wanted to travel, you know that, and since I don’t want to be a lawyer anymore I haven’t really figured out what I do want to do with my future. Traveling seems like a good way to figure it out.”
Sage lets loose a breath, stirring the hair on top of my head. “I wanted you to go to college, D, but I’m also proud of you for being true to yourself.”
“I might go to college one day, but not yet. I need time.”
“Okay.”
I close my eyes, hugging my brother tighter. “I love you, Herb. Thank you for understanding.”
“Love you, too, Weed. Love you, too. Everything’s going to be okay. Not today, but one day.”
I know.
Chapter Sixty-Six
Me: I’m graduating today.
Me: Do you even remember?
Me: Do you care at all?
Me: You probably don’t even read these, but I keep sending them.
Me: For me, not you.
Me: I’m still mad at you. So fucking mad at you.
Me: But I can’t stop loving you, even though I hate you.
Me: I’m leaving in a few days. Will you even notice the absence of my presence?
Me: You might not even be in Utah anymore.
Me: One day, all of this won’t hurt so bad, but as long as it hurts I know it was real.
Me: I hate you. But I love you.
I close out of his contact, knowing I have to go. Grabbing the red cap and gown, I head for the door, calling for Sage.
“I’m ready! Let’s go!”
He runs down the hall. “Does this look okay?”
“You look fine,” I insist, taking in his slacks and shirt combo. “We need to hurry, though. We should’ve left ten minutes ago.”
He swipes his keys off the counter and I grab my purse before we hurry down to the garage and out into the busy traffic.
As we near the school my heart speeds up.
I’m graduating.
Mom, I did it.