Sweet Dandelion

Standing up, I search the graveyard for the seven other faculty and students who were victims that day.

We were all victims, I know no one who was in the school that day will ever forget it. The pain, the fear, the suffering … but these seven pe

ople, eight including my mom, suffered the greatest loss. A life left unlived because a monster decided he had the right to decide when time was up.

With all my flowers gone, I climb back into the taxi.

That’s when the text comes.

Lachlan: The first time I saw you, the sadness radiated out of you. I could feel it in the air. I’d never felt the force of any emotion that powerfully from any human being before. My heart broke for you. Not because I felt sorry for you, but because I knew no one deserved to endure what you had. I vowed then to do everything in my power to help you.

Lachlan: Even if it meant I had to leave you.

Chapter Seventy-Nine

Back in Utah, I find an apartment to rent.

Lachlan sends another text.

Lachlan: Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, even if it was for the best.

I take my driver’s test since it’s been so long since I drove. I pass.

Another text.

Lachlan: It’s okay that you hate me. I expected it.

I don’t tell him that I don’t hate him. I never did. I just wished I did.

I get a job at a hardware store a couple miles from my apartment so I’m forced to drive. I keep pretending to Sage that I’m still in Paris. Ansel is sworn to secrecy on the very off chance my brother would contact him. I’m not trying to hide from my brother, just grow, and I can’t do that with him breathing down my neck teetering between sibling and parent.

Lachlan: I wish I could stop thinking about you, but I don’t think it’s possible not to. Zeppelin misses you. I do too.

I start seeing a therapist. One I choose myself. One who specializes in trauma and PTSD—apparently that’s what I have. The dreams started up again as soon as I was alone, but with her help they’re getting better. She makes me use breathing techniques and meditation because I refuse to take drugs for my issues. I’m getting better.

Lachlan: I hope wherever you are in the world you’re happy.

On April first, I knock on my brother’s door.

I have a key, but this isn’t my home anymore.

Chapter Eighty

Knocking on Sage’s door, I step back to wait for him to answer, holding the carrier from Watchtower with our coffees.

But when the door swings open it’s not Sage standing there.

“Sasha!” I blurt, taken by surprise.

Even more surprise when I find that she’s only wearing a pair of boy shorts, her bra, and an open button-down shirt that I know belongs to my brother.

“Holy shit!” She slams the door in my face.

I stand there blinking. “What the fuck?” I mutter to myself.

The door opens again slowly and she looks like she hopes I’m some sort of mirage. “I thought you were the delivery person.”

“And you came to the door like that?” I try not to laugh, but honestly, Sasha totally would open the door dressed in next to nothing and not care at all.