Today marks the six-year anniversary of my parent’s death. It still feels like it was yesterday. I was fifteen and my brother, Dane, was eighteen when the accident happened. The rain was coming down hard that night. The semi lost control and crossed over the yellow line. The officer said that it was instant and no one felt any pain. There’s no way in hell that he could know that. At fifteen, you feel like your life is shattering around you, but when everyone else is crumbling, you have no choice, but to be strong. I’m grateful that I was there to help everybody, keeping busy made things easier for me.
The snapping continued. “I’m here.” I shook my head and tried focusing my attention where it was needed. Uncle Jake was a handsome guy. His long brown hair hung down in front of his blue eyes. He had aged so much over the past several years. After mom and dad had died, he stepped in as sole guardian for me. Dane was eighteen and in his first semester of college. He couldn’t handle the responsibility. Uncle Jake was only thirty at the time and had absolutely no clue what it meant to raise a daughter, a teenage one at that. He was so young himself. The two of us have practically raised each other. Actually, I’d say I raised him. I did all the cooking and household responsibilities. Someone had to. He worked and made sure that the manly duties were all taken care of. As far as teenage female issues, he had no clue. I learned a lot of things on my own or from my best friend Wren.
“It doesn’t look like you’re here.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “I asked you what you want to do for your birthday.”
“It’s two weeks away. Do we really have to discuss this now?” I rubbed small circles into my temples. “Besides, I’m sure Dane won’t come home. It’s been nearly six months since I’ve seen him.” I looked down at my hands. “He barely even calls me anymore. We used to be so close and you’d think that today of all days, he’d call.”
“I know pickle, but he’ll come around. He’s probably busy with finals or something.” I love that about Jake. He finds the good in everyone. He has to stop making excuses for Dane though. Dane is a big boy, he needs to start acting like it.
“Uncle Jake,” I said taking his hand.
“Yeah,” he squeezed mine in return. I gave him one of those overly serious, we-need-to-talk looks. He lifted his brows. “What is it? You’re freaking me out.”
“How long has it been since you’ve had a date?”
He looked down at his watch. “What day is it?”
“I’m serious Uncle Jake.”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t know maybe a year.”
“Or three,” I waved my fingers in front of his face. “You have to get out and get yourself a life. You will never be married at this rate. You don’t want to end up an old lonely man with nothing but a computer and a dog.”
“Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black. You haven’t been living much yourself, you know.” He tugged on my ponytail.
I set back in my chair and shut my mouth. He was right. Besides my best friend Wren, I have no life. I haven’t had a date since my junior year of high school. It went so bad that I refused to do it ag
ain, ever. I prefer spending my time taking care of Jake and when Dane’s home I take care of him too. Dane’s the older of the two of us, but certainly not the wiser. I was supposed to go to college right out of high school. It was what my parents and I had always talked about. I chose to work instead and stay home with Jake. We’ve always been a team. Only recently have I been thinking that it’s time to do my own thing. I’ve just not found the right time to tell him. Or, maybe I’m just scared of what it will feel like to be on my own.
“I think it’s time that you got out more pickle.”
“I’m twenty years old. Don’t you think it’s time you stopped calling me pickle?” I raised my brow and watched him closely.
“Hell no, you’ll always be my pickle.”
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. The thought of eating pickles now makes me sick. I used to eat them jars at a time when I was little and the name just stuck.
“What about swimming? It used to be your thing.” I took a deep breath. This was not where I wanted this conversation to go. I hoped that it would never be brought up again.
“I don’t want to have this conversation.” I rolled my eyes and stood up from the table. I poured the left over milk from my cereal into the sink.
“Listen to me Sawyer,” Jake walked over and stood next to me in front of the sink. He wasn’t much taller than I was so we were nearly eye to eye. “You never want to talk about this, but we need to.”
“It’s not a big deal.” I grasped the frame of the sink in my hands, holding on so tight that my knuckles whitened.
“It is a big deal. Swimming was your life. You can’t just give everything up because you feel like the accident was your fault. It was an accident. It was no one’s fault. Start living already, you hear me.” I heard him alright. This wasn’t something that I was prepared to argue about.
“Swimming was my life back then. I’m grown up now. I need to experience new things and find new goals.” And I seriously needed a diversion from this conversation.
“Oh yeah, like what? Talk to me.” He said.
Good, the diversion worked. It’s now or never, Sawyer. “Actually, I was thinking about spending some time at the lake house. No one’s been there for a while.” He nodded. “I could take care of the place and maybe get a job there, or maybe even take some college classes. I have lots of money saved.” I really didn’t have to save money the way I did. Mom and dad left us pretty well set. The lake house was our summer home since we were kids. I haven’t been there since my parents died. I’m sure the place is a mess and could use some love.
“You know what? That sounds like an awesome idea. I think you should do it. After all, your parents would want you to use that house. There were some amazing memories made there.” He nudged my shoulder and grinned.
I shook my head. “I think I will.” I replied. He pulled me to him and hugged me. He kissed my temple and whispered how proud he was of me.
“I love you, Uncle Jake.”