When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark 4)

I walk over to her and the nurse cleaning her off. She now has a tiny diaper on. She flails her arms, looking up at me with big eyes.

“You want to follow me over here?” Tthe nurse asks. “We’re going to wash her hair.”

I nod, at a loss for words as I stare at my daughter.

I can’t get over how small and perfect she is. Thea’s right, she looks exactly like me.

The nurse carries her over to the sink and regulates the temperature of the water. She gets it right and then holds the baby so that only her hair gets wet. She uses a brush to come through her fine dark hair. I’m amazed by how much hair she has. It’s not an obscene amount, but it’s enough.

When her hair is clean she dries off her head and brushes her hair. She slips a little blue and pink hat on her head and then swaddles her.

“Okay, Daddy, are you ready to hold her?”

It hits me then, that I haven’t even held her yet. I nod, unable to find the words to tell this woman yes.

She smiles and hands her over.

She looks up at me with big blue eyes. I’m sure those will change, since I have brown and Thea’s are hazel, but for now they’re beautiful.

“She’s hungry. Do you know if you’re wife wanted to try to breastfeed?”

“She wanted to try.”

The baby opens and closes her mouth making a sucking noise.

“She should be back soon, so as soon as she is we’ll try to get the baby to latch.”

“Okay, thank you,” I mutter, but all my focus is on the baby.

She leaves and finally I’m alone with my daughter.

I smile at her in my arms. She looks like a burrito or a really fluffy football.

I rock her back and forth and she lets out a little cry.

“I know you’re hungry, sweetie,” I croon. “Mommy will be back soon.”

She manages to get her little fists free of the swaddle and swings the wildly.

I sit down in the chair, and I find myself just staring at her.

She truly is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen and I can’t believe she’s ours.

“I’m your daddy,” I tell her, kissing her forehead.

She yawns and starts making the sucking noise again.

It isn’t long until Thea’s wheeled back into the room. Her eyes are heavy, like she’s tired, but she manages to smile.

“You look good holding a baby,” she tells me.

I chuckle. “Are you coming on to me?”

“A hot guy with a baby? Hell yeah I’m coming on to you.”

I laugh. Only my wife.

“Give me my daughter,” she begs, holding out her arms.