When Constellations Form (Light in the Dark 4)

After dinner we’re both tired so we head up to bed.

With a baby.

This is crazy.

I fix Xael in her rocker bassinet in our room and she cries at leaving my arms.

“I hate it when she cries,” Xander confesses.

“Me too,” I murmur, watching her. “It breaks my heart.”

Xael flails her arms, and cries. We both stand back and watch her, ready to grab her if we need to. After a couple minutes her cries quiet and she falls asleep.

I smile at Xander and give him a high five.

I’m sure the quiet is short-lived, but I’m learning to revel in the good moments when we have them.

Xander and I climb into bed and turn the lights off. I snuggle against his chest and he runs his fingers through my hair.

It isn’t long until I fall asleep listening to the soft sounds of Xael’s breaths.

I wake up a short time later, jolting awake and running over to make sure she’s breathing.

“Thea?” Xander asks sleepily. “What are you doing?”

“I had to check on her,” I explain. “I was worried.”

I count her breaths, pleased every time her little chest rises and falls.

“Thea, come back to bed,” he pleads.

“Just a minute,” I beg.

I count her breaths for a solid minute before climbing back into bed.

“You can’t be so paranoid,” Xander warns me.

“I know.” I frown. “It’s hard being a new mom.”

“It’s hard being a new dad,” he echoes. “But we’ll do it, one day at a time.”

He brushes his lips softly over my forehead and I force my eyes closed.

It isn’t long until I fall asleep again.

Xander

Two weeks.

Thea and I have managed to survive two full weeks as parents.

It’s hard as fuck, that’s for sure, but I love being a dad. I love it more than I thought I would, and I know that as she gets older that love is only going to grow with all the things I can teach her.

“I don’t want to leave her,” Thea confesses, as she puts on her makeup. She watches me in the mirror where I hold the baby, rocking Xael back and forth.

“My mom wants to watch her, and we need a break. It’s a win-win,” I reason. “We’ll just do dinner and be right back. We’ll be gone an hour, two at the most,” I tell her.

I don’t want to leave Xael, either, if I’m being honest, but we’ve barely left the house these two weeks and I know we need a breather before we lose our minds.