He follows me to the apartment and parks behind me in the space Jace would normally use.
I feel weird leading him into the building and up to the apartment. Even though I’m doing nothing scandalous it feels that way.
I let him in and he whistles. “Damn, this place is nice.”
I shrug. It is nice, much nicer than the housing on campus, at least.
I drop my backpack on the ground and then gently place my camera bag on top. That is precious, my school bag not so much.
“Do you want a drink?” I ask. It seems like the polite thing to do.
“Sure. Anything is fine.”
I scurry over to the refrigerator, happy to have something to do while Joel picks up the remote and turns the TV on.
I grab two bottles of water and then rummage around for popcorn and other snacks. I find a box of popcorn and it’s empty.
“Who keeps an empty box of popcorn?” I mutter to myself. Jace. That’s who.
Since popcorn’s out I end up dumping different kinds of chips in a bowl and calling it a day.
I carry the bowl and two bottles of water over to the couch as Joel switches the TV over to Netflix and brings up this movie.
“How long is this movie?” I ask.
“Four hours, I think.”
I nearly choke on my tongue. Four hours? Jace will probably be home in four hours! Tell this clown to get out of your house! I know it’s too late for that. It’d be beyond rude to force him out. I’m stuck now.
Joel clicks the movie on and gets comfortable on the couch.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’m about to throw up and I’m cursing my very existence. Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking?
I sit down on the couch, on the opposite end from Joel, and set the bowl of chips on the space between us. I hand him the bottle of water and he smiles in thanks.
I unscrew the cap and take a long sip. I suddenly feel like I’m stuck in the Sahara and dying of thirst.
The movie opens with haunting music, and I begin to regret my decision even more.
“You’re shaking the whole couch,” he comments, never looking away from the TV. “I’m not going to hurt you, if that’s what you think.” He sounds sad now and I wince.
“I know that, this is just weird. I’ve never brought a guy here,” I admit, “and while you’re not here for that, it doesn’t erase the awkwardness.”
He finally looks at me, this time with a small smile. “It’s just a movie. Breathe. Sit back and enjoy it. Something tells me you’re always wound too tight.”
He’s right about that. My upbringing made me highly distrustful of people and caused me to constantly walk around with a tight feeling in my chest. I lived my childhood feeling on pins and needles and that’s carried over into adulthood. It’s not something I seem to be able to shake overnight.
I force myself to focus on the movie, and I’m surprised by how quickly I get sucked into it. Everything about it is beautiful. I don’t understand what my parents found so horrible about it that it was banned from our house—other than the nudity, but seriously I know what a girl looks like naked, that’s what happens when mirrors are in bathrooms. You kind of can’t avoid seeing yourself naked.
As the movie progresses and the ship hits the iceberg the intensity magnifies.
It’s dark in the apartment, save for the glow coming from the TV, and I itch to turn on a light but I can’t seem to make myself move from the couch to do it. I’m riveted, waiting to see what’s going to happen next.
When they end up in the water I cover my eyes, because there’s no way this can end well.
“Stop that.” Joel pries my hands from my eyes. “You’ve made it this far, you can’t quit now.”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “Someone I love is about to die. I know it.”