My heart pangs.
I haven’t written to Owen in over a month. There were times I used to write to him every day.
I pull out my notebook and sit on my bed, figuring it’s time I wrote him another letter.
Dear Owen,
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you in so long. I promise you, I still think of you every day. If you could only know how much you’re on my mind. Especially in the last month. I think that’s why I haven’t written to you in so long. I’ve been picturing your face in my mind and it hurts, so I’ve avoided you.
Avoidance isn’t always good, though.
In fact, it’s never good, because then something builds up inside you until it bubbles over.
I’m afraid the secret I keep about you is going to ruin everything. It’s my own fault for not being honest about you.
I don’t know how to speak the truth anymore though. I’ve buried this secret for so long that sometimes it feels like it was all a dream.
Know this truth, though.
I love you. I always will. Always.
Nova.
I rip out the piece of paper and fold it up, placing it with the others and now the Polaroids. Tears cling to my lashes.
Owen.
Owen is such a huge part of my life, one I never acknowledge out loud, and last month, it brought back so many memories, some good, but most of them not.
I wipe at the tears that spill over and take a deep breath, burying the feelings the same way I’ve buried my memories for years.
If you bury something deep enough, it’ll eventually disappear, right?
***
“I forgot how much I loved this place,” Thea says, taking a drink of her water.
Xander sits beside her, his hand on the back of her chair. Beside him is Cade, and then Rae, and finally, me. Jace isn’t with us since he’s performing next.
“The food’s great for a place called W.T.F..” Cade dips a cheese fry in ranch.
I pick at my own meal, a cheeseburger and fries, and wait anxiously for Jace to take the stage. He said he was performing a new song tonight. One he wrote about us.
“It’s nice to hang out like this,” Rae chimes in, stealing one of his fries. He smiles at her and leans over to kiss her nose. “We don’t see you and Jace enough.”
I snort. “You see me practically every day.”
She glares at me. “At school. That doesn’t count.”
“Okay, you got me there,” I concede.
Between work, school, and spending every waking minute I can with Jace it’s been hard to make time for our friends. While I’m in this blissful honeymoon stage with Jace it’s hard to want to do anything else.
“Sorry I’m late,” Joel says, shrugging off his scarf and coat. A pretty blond stands at his side. “This is Sarah.”
“Hi, Sarah.” I wave.
“Hi,” everyone else chimes in.