“He’s four.”
“Wow.” Joel shakes his head. “This is fucking insane.”
Cade and Xander both sit with twin expressions of confusion like they can’t quite process what I’ve said.
Rae is silent, and I think she’s still processing this news. Honestly, she’s probably hurt that she filled me in on her biggest secret while I didn’t confide in her about this.
“Let me get this straight,” Cade starts, holding up two fingers. “One, you guys are dating—like you’re boyfriend and girlfriend?”
“When you say it like that it makes it sound like we’re in kindergarten,” Jace grumbles under his breath to me.
“Two,” Cade continues, ignoring Jace. “You have a kid.” He points at me.
“That’d be a yes to both.” I nod, clasping my hands together. It feels awkward standing in front of the five of them while they sit on the couch and Jace is at my side. I feel sort of like Jace and I are about to perform or something. Maybe if we did some impromptu magic it would snap them out of their stupor. Then again it would probably make things weirder.
“Pinch me,” Cade says to Rae.
“What?” She looks at him like he’s crazy.
“I’m having trouble believing this is real,” he tells her.
“I’m not pinching you.” She shakes her head.
“Fine,” he grumbles. “I’ll do it myself.”
He pinches his arm, hard, and yelps. “Ouch that hurt. Yeah, this is real.”
I shake my head. My friends are nuts but I love them.
“I think I’ve been transported to an alternate universe,” Cade rambles, shoving his shaggy light-brown hair from his eyes. “One where Jace has a girlfriend and said girlfriend has a kid.”
“Not an alternate universe,” I interject. “It’s very much real life.”
“Where’s Ashton Kutcher?” Cade asks, looking around for cameras. “We’re being Punk’d, right?”
“Stop it,” Rae scolds him.
“This is very much real,” I say. “If you have any questions feel free to ask them. Now that you all know, I’m an open book.” Thea raises her hand like we’re in class. “Yes?” I prompt when she doesn’t speak immediately.
“You were fifteen?”
“Yes.” I nod. “Only fifteen.”
“Wow,” Thea mouths. “That’s crazy. I can’t imagine having a kid at my age, let alone fifteen. Were you scared?”
“Terrified,” I answer honestly.
“Your parents …” Rae starts. “This is why when you talk about them it’s obvious that you kind of … hate them.”
I nod slowly. “Yeah. I wouldn’t say I hate them, exactly, but I definitely don’t love them. It’s just easier if I stay away. I feel too much anger and resentment when it comes to them.”
Rae frowns. She has a good relationship with her parents so I’m sure a tale like mine is hard to connect with. If she’d been in my situation her parents would’ve been supportive, probably not thrilled, sure, but they would’ve been there for her. I had no one.
“Can you find him?” Thea asks. “Can you find your son?”
Jace’s hand flexes against the small of my back.
“It was a closed adoption,” I explain with a shrug. “I met the parents, spoke with them while I was pregnant, and once I chose them, that was it.”