Dark Hearts (Light in the Dark 3)

“I love the stars,” he tells me, taking my hand.

I gasp, pressing my lips together as I fight tears, because holy shit I’m holding my son’s hand. It’s small and warm in mine. We waddle out onto the ice and start skating together.

“You’re really good,” I tell him.

“Of course I am. I’m good at everything.”

And he’s definitely Owen’s kid, because that’s so something he’d say.

“So, I was in your tummy?” he asks.

“You were.” I smile down at him as we glide on the ice.

He looks back at his mom and dad who are just now getting on the ice with Jace. I feel bad that I didn’t introduce him, but I was so shocked I couldn’t think straight.

“That’s cool. Mommy and Daddy tell me that I’m adopted, but I don’t know what that means exactly. I’m only four, after all.” He shrugs his slender shoulders.

“All it means is that you’re very special and surrounded by a lot of love.”

“Being adopted is a good thing, then?”

“A very good thing.” I smile down at him, fighting tears.

The emotion clogging my chest feels like it’s going to choke me. I can’t believe this is happening right now. That my son is here and that I’m holding his hand.

It feels too good to be true.

We skate around and he holds my hand the entire time.

The others hang back, giving me time alone with him, for which I’m grateful.

The amount of love I feel for this little boy eclipses everything else in the world. It’s a different kind of love too. It’s a bond that transcends.

It makes me wonder about Jace’s dad—how he could have treated his son so horribly. Our children are precious gifts, something meant to be cherished. I was forced to give my child up, but I can’t imagine willingly ignoring one. It’s heartbreaking.

I look behind me at Jace.

Despite it all, despite the darkness in both our hearts, we both still turned out pretty well. I guess it goes to show you that you can choose to be better, that you don’t have to let life break you. You have the power to make things better.

We finish skating, and my heart begins to break all over again, knowing I’m going to have to say goodbye.

Hellos are the easy part. It’s the goodbyes that rip you to shreds.

I look at Sarah and Jimmy with panic in my eyes. “Can I see you again? Can I see him again?”

Sarah takes my hand, looking at me with pity in her eyes. “Absolutely, sweetie. Jimmy and I were talking about it, and if you want, maybe we can speak to a lawyer about the adoption and change the terms so you can see him. We won’t keep him front you.” She squeezes my hand.

“Thank you.” I burst into tears. “Thank you so much.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Thank you, because of your selfless act we finally got the child we’ve wanted all our lives. Without you, we wouldn’t have that. The way I see it, we’re family. Bonded for life.” She hugs me.

I hug her back, mumbling, “Thank you,” repeatedly.

When she releases me, I hug Jimmy and then I bend down, opening my arms to Greyson.

“Can I have a hug?” I ask him.

He dives into my arms without a second of thought, which only makes me cry harder. I bury my face into his hair, inhaling the scent of his shampoo. It smells like watermelons which makes me smile.