Broken Hearts (Light in the Dark 5)

If there was any bit of my heart left to break, it

would have.

“This isn’t your fault, Nova.”

“Yes, it is,” she snaps. “Something went wrong in my body and it’s my fault.”

I shake my head. “You don’t know that. Any number of things could have gone wrong. These things just happen.”

“Shut up!” she screams so loud I wince. “You sound like my doctor.”

“Because it’s true.”

“No, it’s not. You know what is true? It’s that I’m worthless.”

Before I can respond, she’s fleeing the truck and slamming the door behind her.

I can feel her slipping through my fingers, and I don’t know how to prevent myself from losing her forever.

Nova grips the railing of the hospital bed and grimaces in pain.

She refuses to get an epidural, wanting to force herself to feel the pain I guess, and she also refuses to hold my hand. Her distance is as unnerving as it is frightening. We’ve been through so much together. I don’t want to start fighting our battles alone, especially when it’s the same battle. We need each other now more than ever but she can’t see that. It’s like she thinks by punishing herself, she can relieve some of the pain. But she’s wrong, all she’s doing is hurting us both.

I wet a cool cloth and press it to her forehead. Her eyes are squished closed and she pants.

“You’re doing great,” I tell her.

“Ahhh,” she moans in pain.

I wish she’d get the fucking epidural, because seeing her in pain like this is slowly killing me.

I bend and press my lips to the top of her head. “You’re amazing,” I murmur. “You’ve got this.”

She begins to cry. “Make it stop. Make it go away.”

“Fuck, I wish I could, Little Star.”

I would do anything for her if I could. I hate this is one thing I can’t.

Panting, she reaches out for my hand and my heart lurches at her acceptance. She’s been in labor for three hours and not once wanted to hold my hand, and if I tried, she pushed me away.

I gladly give her my hand, not even caring she’s squeezing the life out of it.

The door opens and our nurse breezes in. “How’s it going in here?”

“How’s it look like?” Nova slurs through clenched teeth, fighting another contraction. They’re insanely close together now. I don’t know how her body can handle it. Women are powerful immortal creatures, I’m sure of it.

The nurse checks Nova and steps back with a satisfied smile. “It’s time to get the doctor. You’re ready to push.”

Nova begins to cry. “I can’t do this.” She looks up at me with scared eyes. “This means it’s over.”

“Oh, Nova,” I breathe, brushing her sweaty hair off her forehead. “He’ll always be with us.”

“This isn’t fair,” she sobs. “What am I being punished for? Is it for abandoning my parents?”

“God, no.” I glide my finger down her cheek, her skin is smooth but damp. “Neither of us did anything to deserve this. Life had other plans for us, I guess.”

“Life can kiss my ass.”