I sigh and set the mug on the coffee table. “I guess this is what she has to do.” I cross my arms over my chest and lean my back against the couch. “Doesn’t mean any of us have to be happy about it.”
“I’m not going to lie, I’m surprised she could bring herself to leave you here.”
My jaw clenches. “I guess I’m not what she needs right now.”
But she’s what I need. She always will be.
“I don’t believe that. Not for a minute.” Joel shakes his head. “I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. It’s … not something you see often, definitely not nowadays. It’s the kind of love epic poems are written about. You think it only exists in prose, but you guys are proof it’s out there. Something like that … You can’t give it up. You just can’t.”
I stand. “Well, she did.” I stand and head for the door. “Thanks for letting me crash here last night.”
“No problem. Do you need a ride?” he asks as I open the door.
I glance over my shoulder. “I need the walk.”
He nods and watches me go.
When I step outside I reach for my pack of cigarettes. I tap one out and stick it between my lips. I groan and shake my head.
I’m not going there. I won’t.
I toss it away into a nearby bush, hunch my shoulders, and head home.
The people on the streets mean little to me. Each of them a blur of color and muted voices. I feel like I’m walking in slow motion while they’re on fast forward.
I start to feel sick and I duck through the first door I come to, needing the world to slow down for a minute.
I look around and realize I’m in a pet store and there’s a big sign proclaiming they’ve partnered up with the local shelter to help adopt pets.
I head down the aisle and in the back I find the cages. There are only five, three with dogs and two with cats.
A little wiener dog yaps, trying to get my attention. Beside it, an older golden retriever watches me as I pass. I keep walking, and at the end I finally stop, squatting down.
“Well, aren’t you cute?” I hold my finger out to the kitten. The kitten has a pattern that looks like a leopard with a pink nose and blue eyes.
The sign on the cage proclaims her as Sasha and it says she was found by the side of a road begging for food.
She edges slowly toward my finger, like she’s wary.
She sniffs carefully and must deem me decent because she rubs her neck against my outstretched finger.
“Would you like to hold her?” I jolt and glance up at the store clerk.
“N—” I start to say no, but then I think why the fuck not. “Sure.”
She smiles and I back out of her way so she can unlock the cage. The little kitten hops into her hands and meows.
“Here you go.” She hands the kitten to me and I cradle her in my hands.
The kitten looks up at me and meows.
Looking into her eyes, I know there’s no way I can leave her here. Every life deserves to be loved—even animals, especially animals.
“Would you like to adopt her?” the clerk inquires.
I nod. “Yeah … Yeah, I would.”
Nova might not approve, but I highly doubt it. Besides, she’s not here and who the fuck knows when she’ll be back. At least now I won’t be so alone in the apartment.