one
The thing about starting over is it isn’t as easy as people say.
It’s impossible to become a completely different person.
You can change your hair.
Your makeup.
Even your name.
But at the end of each and every day you’re still the same person you were yesterday, and the day before that.
I’d spent the last year trying, and failing, to become a different person. The shitty events of my life had certainly changed me and I wasn’t the same carefree girl I used to be, but I was still Rachael—or Rae as I preferred to be called now—because no matter how far we run we can never escape ourselves.
It might’ve been stupid but I felt like hiding behind the new nickname gave me a bit of anonymity. Not that anyone at Huntley University was going to know who I was or what I’d done.
My eyes fluttered closed as I felt the breeze tickle the skin of my cheeks and I inhaled the scent of lilac.
For the first time in a year I felt peaceful and centered. Like maybe I was where I belonged—which was funny, since I hadn’t wanted to even go to college after everything that had happened.
I opened my eyes and grabbed one of my duffel bags from the car and my camera case.
My camera had always been like a limb to me—an extension of who I was. Even after everything that happened last year I’d never been able to give up photography. It brought me peace when everything else in my life was chaos. I slammed the door closed and locked my car, since I’d have other stuff to get later and I didn’t want anyone trying to steal something. For now, I just wanted to get to my dorm and check things out.
I pulled the piece of paper out of my pocket with the housing information on it. I already had it memorized, but for some reason I found it necessary to read it again. It brought me some strange sense of peace. Like it was a lifeline or something.
With my head bowed I stepped onto the sidewalk.
I hadn’t taken more than two steps before I fell.
Only, I didn’t fall—I was knocked to the ground by the force of a very heavy male body.
I could smell his sweat—even more potent than the lilacs dotting the campus—and it wasn’t the stinky kind of sweat, oh no, he smelled delicious. Like he’d been rolling around the sheets naked for hours having the hottest sex imaginable.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry!” The guy exclaimed, rolling off of me. He reached down to pull me up, and when he did I ended up plastered against his chest. It was hard and smooth, not a blemish in sight. He kept a tight hold on me so I couldn’t scramble away. “Are you okay?” His eyes roamed over my body as he surveyed any damage he might’ve caused. His eyes lingered longer than necessary on my body.
“I’m fine,” I assured him, finally looking at his face and—holy-hotness, it should be illegal to be that good looking. Brown hair hung in his eyes, eyes that were so blue that they could only be categorized as cerulean. Stubble dotted his defined jaw and his lips were kissable. They didn’t make guys like this where I was from. Not. At. All.
Clearing my throat I took a step back, bowing my head so that my hair hid my suddenly flushed face. I couldn’t believe I was ogling the guy who’d just knocked me down. Or any guy for that matter. I hadn’t allowed myself to look twice at any guy in over a year. Not since…
I shook my head free of my thoughts and reached down for my camera case. Luckily it was heavy duty and I didn’t need to worry about my camera being damaged.
Without a second look at the guy that had knocked me over I dusted the dirt off my camera case and walked away. He might’ve been hot, but I wasn’t going down that road.
He jogged after me. Of course. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he grabbed my arm, “you’re not getting away that fast.”
I looked at him and then at the spot where we’d fallen. There was a football lying there and I assumed it was the reason he’d run in to me.
“Uh,” I pointed to the fallen ball, “it looks to me like you have a game to get back to.” My pulse thudded in my throat at the feel of his hand on my arm. I felt a light sweat break out across my skin. I couldn’t understand my body’s reaction to the stranger. For the first time in a year I felt…alive. It made no sense.