“I don’t know.” I laughed. “Something easy.”
“What’s your middle name?” He asked.
“Madison. Yours?”
“Paul. Favorite color?”
“Purple. Yours?” I smiled at our back and forth. This, right here, was simple and easy. I needed more of this in my life.
“Gray, I guess. I don’t really have a favorite. Favorite movie?”
I had to think about that one. “Titanic. It’s romantic and heartbreaking. What’s yours?”
“Ghostbusters. Favorite band?”
“One Republic. Yours?” I rested my chin on my hand, fighting another smile.
“Fall Out Boy. Favorite—”
“Here’s your water. Are you ready to order?”
I jumped at the sound of the waitress’ voice. I hadn’t realized it but while we were talking Cade and I had leaned closer and closer together. I sat back, tucking my hands onto my lap.
Cade ordered and I muttered, “I’ll have the same.” I hadn’t even really bothered to scrutinize the menu.
“Good choice,” Cade grinned.
“Of course you’d say that.” I squeezed the lemon into my glass of water just to have something to do.
“Well, I mean you did order the same thing as me and I have excellent taste in everything.”
“Is that so?” I asked, raising a brow.
“I mean, I am sitting here having dinner with you. I think that proves I make good choices.”
I bit my lip and looked down. My fingers found the paper napkin on the table and I began to pick it apart. “What is it about me that makes you think I’m a good choice?”
His eyes narrowed. “You really don’t see yourself the way others see you, do you?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I muttered, not meeting his gaze.
“When I say certain things you act like you’re a monster.” I was a monster, Cade just didn’t know it yet. “I don’t understand it.”
“You don’t understand it or me?”
“You. I don’t fucking understand you.” His jaw tightened.
I lowered my head and realized that I was ruining our whole evening. “Look,” my voice cracked, “you don’t know what I’ve been through. The things people have said to me. The names I’ve been called. It’s been horrible.”
“Then tell me,” he pleaded.
“I can’t. I barely know you.”
“Don’t you see,” he snapped, waving his hand between us, “I’m trying to get to know you but you’re making it impossible.” He let out a heavy, pent-up breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” he laid his hands on his table. “But I promise you right now, Rae, I will get you to trust me and one day, when you’re ready, you’re going to tell me everything.”
I doubted it, but I didn’t tell him that.
Our food arrived and I decided to change the subject. I didn’t want there to be anymore awkwardness between us because of me. And frankly, I actually wanted both of us to enjoy tonight.