“I’ll see you guys later,” I told them, answering my phone as I gathered up my stuff. “Hi, mom.” I tried to keep phone calls with my mom to a maximum of once a week. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to my mom, I’d always been close with her and told her everything, but after last year things changed. She couldn’t protect me anymore and she became yet another reminder of everything I lost, because she was so closely tied to all my memories.
“Rachael, you haven’t called in a while and I was getting worried. Is everything okay?”
“It’s great,” I said honestly, throwing my trash away before heading for the glass double doors. As I left I could feel Cade’s gaze on my back like a brand marking me. “I’ve been really busy.”
“Oh, of course,” she si
ghed, “I miss you, Rachael. I wish you’d call us more. You’ve only spoken to your dad once since you left. It’s not easy for us having our only baby away at school. Will we see you at Thanksgiving at least?”
I hadn’t thought once about the holidays, but the thought of going home was nearly crippling. I stopped and leaned against the wall of one of the buildings, needing the support.
“I’m not sure, mom. The break is only a few days and as busy as I’ve been I doubt I’ll have the time to drive home.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling terrible for the lie, but now that I was away from that god-awful town I never wanted to go back.
“Oh, well if anything changes you let me know. I’m sure your dad would be happy to drive down there and get you. It’s only three hours from us.”
“Mom, we’ll see, okay?”
“Okay,” she agreed, but she knew I wasn’t coming home. I think she was beginning to realize that I may never come home again. “I’ll talk to you soon, sweetie.”
“Yep.”
“Love you.”
“Love you too, mom,” I hung up, and tears pricked my eyes. I wished so much that I could go back to the days where my mom and dad could chase all the monsters away. But now they lived inside me, where no one but me could see.
“Rae?”
I looked up and saw Cade jogging towards me.
I blinked my eyes to clear them of moisture. “Yeah?”
“I just wanted to check on you,” he explained, stopping in front of me. “You seemed upset when you left.”
“I’m fine,” I assured him.
“Who were you talking to?” He winced. “Shit, never mind, that sounds like a nosy question so don’t answer.”
“It was my mom,” I supplied, suppressing a laugh at his words.
“Oh,” he frowned, “are things…rough with you guys?”
I shrugged, not sure how much I should tell him. “We’re close, or we used to be. Then shit happened and…I lost who I was. I couldn’t confide in my mom anymore. Nothing was really the same.”
“Couldn’t or wouldn’t?” He questioned.
“Huh?”
“You couldn’t or wouldn’t confide in your mom?” He clarified.
I sighed, glancing down at the ground and away from his penetrating gaze. “Wouldn’t.”
“That’s hard.” He reached up and grasped one of the curls blowing in my face.
“W-what?” I suddenly couldn’t think, not with him standing so close. It was like my brain had lost all sense of function.
He chuckled, seeming to know what he’d done to me. “It’s hard having no one to talk to.”
“You speak from experience.” It wasn’t a question. I’d caught the meaning in his words.